ONE MONTH left of '06!

I'm stressed and have too much on my mind, am kinda tired, and it's 11:30pm. SO...i'm gonna ignore the 27 different things I could opine on and just ramble a bit simply to post an entry. So it's 66 degrees outside as we near midnight on the first day of December! What the hell?! I assisted in acquiring a friend's Xmas tree tonight...and stole some branches for my own apartment's holiday decor. And so the Christmas season has begun for me, I guess. Um, yay? I have no strong feelings good or bad yet about this season. Mainly, I just -- as usual -- can't believe the calendar is what it is.

Here's 2 more things that annoy me in this life...

#1 -- Being in the same shopping "pattern" as other people in the supermarket -- i.e., seeing them in AISLE after AISLE. And they're always THE most annoying individuals. Today's worst offender was a middle-aged Asian who could NOT keep his fucking cart properly out of the flow of oncoming traffic. The solution to this is, of course, zigzagging through the market in a random fashion so as not to endure the same yakking/slow-moving humans around me more than once.

#2 -- People who do tai-chai or any kind of exaggerated stretching exercises in front of their house. Can you NOT do that inside? Or in your BACKyard? Or at the gym? Or a park or running track? It's FUCKING AWKWARD to view. Listen, i've done my fair share of jogging and jump-roping, but i've never made a spectacle of myself. LOOK!! I'm WARMING UP!! It's just SO irritatingly "look at me!!!!!!! I'm SO comfortable with myself and un-self-conscious!!!!" This middle-aged woman two doors down was stretching tonight...as she often does. God, I have so many rants with this one woman alone...and her equally annoying hubby. They like to walk hand-in-hand through the neighborhood at dusk...with plastic cups or even glasses of their favorite beverage. UGH. SO fucking agitating. Or am I, again, weird for being so enraged by such things?? Maybe i'll start pouring MYSELF a glass of wine and engaging in dreamy solo sundown strolls through the nabe, staring up at the houses with a smile on my face.

Thankful AND bloated

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. I was and remain bloated. Bloated and tired. It has been a long few days, and tomorrow promises to be just as tiring. Yes, I'll need a holiday from the holiday again.

Thanksgiving was as Norman Rockwell as it always is...and there's actually zero sarcasm there. Can you believe it? A hellishly rainy and raw night to drive, but otherwise wonderful. Each person around the table gave a brief toast. The kids gave another amusing/impressive musical performance. Mom's chocolate cream pie again pleased the masses. More beer bottles for my collection. It was a lovely time. Yes, I am thankful.

By the way, is it pathetic that I still feel "left out" since I didn't go out drinking the night before Thanksgiving? Am I past the age where that night should hold meaning for me?

MADONNA -- Best pop star EVER!

It's fucking official. In my book, at least...and I dare anyone to argue me. TRY IT! Madonna is the best pop star the world has ever seen. Her CONFESSIONS tour, shown tonight on NBC, was the final electrifying piece of proof. There is simply no one else like her.

Yes, i've been a fan since day one. But i'm not some fawning sycophant. This is a very clear-headed, educated conclusion. How ANYONE can not be wowed by her showmanship is beyond me. But it's obviously more than that. It's just the perfect storm of pop star brews -- voice, looks, charisma, chutzpah, dancing, provocation.

Notice I mentioned voice first...often insanely underestimated with her. But it's a great voice -- warm and relatable -- but also, impressively, a flexible one. It can sound girlish and playful, soulful, arch, cold and menacing; it can scale the operatic heights of RAY OF LIGHT or sink to the low register purr of current single JUMP. Straight-up pop...sure, she'll deliver that. But she's managed to bring elements of R&B, flamenco, gospel, hip-hop, electronica, rock, country, and even showtunes to her endless hit parade...and, thus, to mainstream audiences.

As great as her voice is, though (and have the insipid dolts suggesting she receives tons of studio wizardry to sound good FINALLY faced facts?), it's the SPECTACLE of her concert that drove me to write this. She just takes you, like Springsteen, to another plane. I hope this doesn't sound ridiculous, but she made me wanna be all that I could be in this life. It WAS a celebration of being ALIVE. I was mesmerized by some of the dancing, particularly the "simple" arm movements during "Forbidden Love." The "rock" portion of her show particularly riveted. It was just such a wild sense of jubilant abandon, with the guitars, lights, frenetic dancing and pounding beat. It was, in two words, FUCKING CATHARSIS. Bravo, Madonna, bravo!

Holiday decorations...a timetable to learn if you're an annoying fucking moron

On Sunday night, the 19th of November, I saw someone with a tree strapped to their roof. To be clear, a CHRISTMAS tree. To be clear a 2nd time...this person is an annoying fucking moron. So are the (admittedly few) dolts who have their outside lights aglow already. Sure, it IS possible they could have been testing them when I walked or drove by. But you know what...even testing them now is too early. It was JUST Halloween, people, 3 weeks ago tonight! And we're not even past Thanksgiving yet! Jesus!

The first of December is when ANYthing Christmas should be first chopped, hung, strung, or lit. Period. And that's being charitable. ACTUALLY, December 10 is MY personal Seasonal Start Date; it leaves a full 2 weeks until Xmas Eve. PLENTY of time. My mother has told me MANY times how she would get her tree as a child ON Xmas Eve...as would many others back in those days. This could explain why we have OUR tree up well into January...and always entertain in January, too...but that's another blog. Honestly, though, what's the fucking rush? I DETEST forced sentiments...and that's how I feel having trees and lights shoved down my throat too soon. Let it come NATURALLY, folks. I only have so many weeks for the spirit of Christ to fill me.

These fucking idiots waiting in line for DAYS for an Xbox...

MORONS...all of you. I just...I don't even know where to begin...where to direct my first insult. And this applies to ANYONE camping out overnight or (gasp) DAYS (?!) for ANYthing.

The longest I ever waited in line for something was 5 hours for Howard Stern's autograph...and 1) I certainly didn't PLAN on waiting that long (it was one of those "well, i've been here 90 minutes, i'm not gonna leave NOW" things), 2) I'm mortified I wasted that time. Yes, though, I DO relish the fact I have his signature. I'd never do it again, though. People's priorities...forever fucked.

I haven't been to a supermarket in 6 days!!?!!

THIS is a streak the likes of which I haven't experienced in perhaps YEARS. And I don't need to go tonight, either! That'll be a WEEK tomorrow sans entering ShopRite or Pathmark!! PEOPLE, you just don't KNOW how bloody rare that is for me! It is...it is...INTOXICATING in its liberation!! I MUST review how I achieved this and adopt an ongoing new gameplan of food shopping. Off the top of my head, it likely has something to do with the fact that LAST week, I was at ShopRite pretty much daily. The bottom line IS that I've had all the food I need already in the house. Aren't you glad you just wasted a minute of your life reading this?

How sad is this? (and this is "sarcastic" sad)

I saw on the Weather Channel that the record high temperature for today's date at Newark was 80 degrees in 1993...and I TOTALLY remember that. I was away at college, where it was also crazy balmy, but I totally recall a STRING of record-setting days that November. It goes beyond a record for the date, though. It was the latest in the YEAR that Newark had ever hit 80 since records started being kept in like the 1870s. It was just insanity...like May weather as we neared Thanksgiving. So, yes, not just storms...not just weather on "special" days in my life...I also vividly recall, YEARS later, record-setting temperatures on days of absolutely NO personal significance. Can someone PLEASE pay me for this perverse ability? Ahhh, do you all remember March 13, 1990, when it hit 85 in Newark?

The fuzzy math of the "quarter-life crisis"

Yes, i'm nitpicking. And, yes, this blog entry will be wildly depressing. But I'm annoyed/baffled by the definition of this quarter-life crisis bullshit.

First off, is it referring to the AGE of 25? Or is it referring to a quarter of your life having gone by? Either way, I have issues with it.

If it's supposed to solely afflict people in their mid 20s, fuck that...i'm 33 and have NEVER felt an overall "life crisis" more. But what's most annoying to me is the simple math of it if it's supposed to mean a quarter of your life's over. This, of course, assumes you'll be blowing out 100 candles on your Carvel ice cream cake (which is what i'll be having every year I breathe, thanks).

But life expectancy is generally around age 80, so assuming you even make it to the AVERAGE year of death, your life is one-fourth kaput by the ripe old age of twenty. And i'm having MY crisis NOW, so, um, I'LL live to be...132-years-old? Yeah, I doubt it, too.

Well, that's all I wanted to say on the issue. Have a WONDERFUL day! I pray you live to see tomorrow. Cheerio!

THE SIMPSONS...as stingingly sharp as ever

I'm hardly the first to say this, but the great thing about animation (particularly on a major network TV show) is that you can get away with SO much more. Witness tonight's SIMPSONS ep about Homer enlisting in the Army. The entire show was littered with as blatantly political of opinion as i've ever seen on it. Honestly, it was verging on Very Special Episode; this show's jokes/commentary are usually a bit more subtle. Was this TIMED for this past week's elections? At least it all SEEMED very obvious in its stance...as I must admit I wasn't giving it my complete attention. I'll have to catch the repeat sometime.

ANYWAY...there was ONE brief scene...you can't even call it a scene...it was 3 seconds...that spurred me to write this entry. Homer went to the Army Recruitment Office and a sign on the storefront said SUICIDAL TEENS WELCOME. I cackled out loud at this VERY dark humor. I think the point is quite clear and can't imagine many other network sitcoms making such a statement. Bravo! And THE SIMPSONS MOVIE is finally in sight!! This is probably my favorite show of all time.

Remembering Ed Bradley

I LOVED Ed Bradley. But he was one of those people I'd never have referenced in a conversation or on an "online networking site" about who I admired. Not sure why, just the way it was. Perhaps because I wasn't an inner city black male looking for inspiration to get out of the hood? Quite possibly. Mr. Bradley wasn't a "hero" to me that way. Nor did I have a burning yearning to be a "60 Minutes" journalist...although I more and more HAVE coveted Andy Rooney's position. No, really. So, for whatever reason, it was only AFTER I learned of Bradley's death that I instantly realized how much I enjoyed and respected both his work AND personal style.

I was driving on the NJ Turnpike Thursday night when I learned of his death. For some reason I decided I needed to hear WINS on my AM dial; neither music nor silence were suiting me at the time. Besides, in only 22 minutes, they'd give me the world. Mercifully, I was nearing the end of my trip when I heard the news...would have been a major bummer for my great day at the shore if i'd heard the news earlier.

I just couldn't believe the news. He was the baby of THAT bunch! A staple of Sunday nights for more than 2 decades. A tough newsman who didn't suffer fools. A guy in his mid 60s who still absolutely exuded hipness, relevance, and swagger...life. And now he's dead. Leukemia. And the world goes on. And it always seems a tad heartless to me that it does so. We all go "awwww, that's a shame," then move on to something like laundry or putting that TV dinner in the microwave. A LIFE is extinguished...but I GOTS to have my Fried Chicken Hungry Man ASAP.

And then I do something like finally bringing the 1985 microwave that's been sitting on my hall closet floor for some 3 years because "well, I wanna check it out one last time before I get rid of it" to the curb for trash pickup. Yes, I am saying that Bradley's death -- among other things -- went into this crucial decision. Not AS ludicrous as it first sounds. Just a kinda "what the fuck you waiting for?" thing. And yes, I AM applying that attitude toward more important things in my life besides appliance disposal. As should YOU, faithful reader. I've done a lot this wonderfully rainy, housebound weekend. Bradley's tribute on 60 MINUTES was great -- depressing and inspiring at once. It seems appropriate to consider the famous ticking of that clock, no?

Cats

...are useless.

Strathmere, NJ: An undiscovered gem -- One of the MANY thoughts to come from my DAY AT THE SHORE!

Today, I took a LONG drive...an 11-hour drive...to the very southern third of the NJ shore and back again. It was my usual somewhat-at-odds combination of multiple points to visit on a "whatever strikes me" timetable. The SOLE given in the equation was that i'd race down the Parkway to North Wildwood, which I haven't been to in 6 or 7 years (i'll have to check my notes). But from THERE, it was up in the air where I'd land and who, if anyone, I'd see. The general idea was to then head back UP the coast in a wandering, curious, sightseeing manner.

I wound up seeing a mere one friend...but it was a delightful, though too brief, visit. I almost didn't even call him. By the time I did, it was already 7pm-ish and I was already weary. But something made me pull over and call...and i'm glad I did. However, it quickly became apparent to me that I really didn't feel like seeing anyone today...that today was about ME...ALONE...roaming along the oceanfront.

And so I wandered the seawall in North Wildwood along the Hereford Inlet, then got in my car and headed north. I got out of my car on the road on Nummy Island to take in the glorious marshy solitude and take a picture. It was ALL so marshy and full of fishermen on the side of the road. The houses in Avalon stunned me. I knew they were swanky, but did NOT remember them SO palatial. You couldn't even SEE the houses, hidden as they were behind coastal woodlands. THIS was the NJ shore?

And then...Strathmere. My first thought was that it was a crummy, piece of shit stretch of road. The strip of land thinned out so much here -- literally all you have is the one road, with houses on one side facing the bay, and dunes on the other side that block your view of the ocean. There are no side streets. ONE road. But then I got out of the car to walk up and view the ocean...and suddenly it hit me...this, like Avalon, though in a much different way, didn't remotely feel like the NJ I know. The view was spectacular...and the people were few. But it felt like the Outer Banks, and suddenly I did a complete 180 and realized I kinda dug the solitude and non-commercialization of this VERY short piece of the NJ shore pie. I mean, have you EVER heard someone say they have a house in Strathmere?

Ocean City afforded me an opportunity to take a great sunset pic on the bay, along with a VERY surreal drive-by of a house at which I used to spend a lot of time. I could write pages JUST on this house and my past with it. Overall, though, I find Ocean City as boring as ever. Must be the no alcohol rule. And it's SOOOOOOOOOOOO long. It's like the fucking state of PA to drive through.

Just when i'd given up on stunning water/sunset shots, I stumbled upon a beaut in Longport or Margate...it was right around the border of the two cities. My after-the-fact map perusal confirms what I thought...this is a stretch of NJ coast that is actually KINDA east-west, which explains how it appeared the sun was setting OVER THE OCEAN. I PRAY this shot comes out well...it was just...just...spectacular. In my memory, it'll always be. Not only did it seem like an ocean sunset, but a light fog had begun to roll in. And to top it all off, there was a jetty and a giant pile of what I assume was sand, but it was all very rocky looking...and the entire effect was VERY much CALIFORNIA. I truly felt like I was on a CA beach at sunset. Need I say more?

Well, of course I'll say more. Next, I sailed through Atlantic City for the first time in 5 years. I never tire of glitz and tall buildings...even when surrounded by slums. If it was earlier, I was gonna stop in the Borgata, but that'll wait for another day. Then, back on the Parkway, followed by the friend visit. And THEN...exhausted and famished though I was, I just could not resist a 2ND coastline drive from Spring Lake up to Asbury Park. Yes, it was dark, but this only made it MORE fun, because it honestly felt like the aftermath of a nuclear attack...there was NO ONE around. It was seriously eerie. It was a 60-degree, clear November night...where the hell is everyone? I could've been hacked to death on the Spring Lake boardwalk and no one would've found me till morning. But I risked hacking by lounging on a bench, staring at the almost-full moon over crashing waves. Ahhhhhh. Before heading back toward the Parkway, I was pleasantly surprised at the increasing venues Asbury Park had to offer...even as escalating gang violence ravages other parts of the city. MUST sample the hip looking new sushi joint...and I hate sushi. Just make sure your doors are locked while idling at red lights and be prepared to slam on the gas pedal. Has this blog entry gone on long enough for you yet?

OK, i'm done. But this was for ME, not you. Well, you if you WANT. But this entry was a perfect example of personal recording, NOT entertaining. Though, of course, I'd argue that i'm always SOMEWHAT entertaining and/or informative. Thus, if anything, I hope this urges you to explore the southernmost NJ coast. Wander, don't speed.

Wahhhhhhhh...Newark's losing its postmark

Call me weird...again. Add it to my list of eccentricities. But i'm very fucking annoyed to read that as of Nov. 18, Newark will lose its postmark due to cost-cutting consolidation measures. You still will be able to get it if you personally walk into a Newark post office and ask for it, and many businesses will still use their own "Newark" meters. So, actually, it won't be TOTALLY gone at all. But a lot of mail WILL now just say "Kearny" instead of Newark. It's a small blow to the city's ever-tenuous confidence; it IS the biggest city in NJ...shouldn't it at the very least retain a postmark?

I always look at mail to see where it originated...though, of course, this used to be more fun when people still wrote a lot of letters. People DO still write postcards...and I just got one yesterday, in fact. Postmarked...HONOLULU, HI!! Fun!!

Keep your head up, Newark!

Adios, Mr. Rumsfeld

And the seismic shift continues...at long last.

Yo, CBS and Katie...you're not proving yourselves

The president was DUE to speak at 1pm...so it was no surprise...yet where's Ms. Couric? Instead, Harry Smith is anchoring the coverage...while over on NBC and ABC, THEIR regular anchors, Brian Williams and Charles Gibson, are in full view. Doesn't make you look good, Katie. Oh, but wait, she DID show up AFTER the speech...briefly, before ending CBS' coverage much sooner than NBC and ABC. Doesn't make you look good, Katie. The Tiffany network has a lot to prove. Having said that, she WAS on till 2am last night, much LATER than NBC and ABC. Aren't you glad someone like me is busy monitoring these things?

A SENATE cliffhanger!!

Here it is, pushing toward 1am, and 3 states hold the power of the Senate in their hands...ONE of them MONTANA (?!?!)...and God only knows how long this could go on. I pray for a Democratic win, but i'll carry on with my life without one. The Democrats HAVE won the HOUSE!! YAY!! I'm clearly not alone when I say my vote was totally focused around two words -- FUCK BUSH! I could add Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove, Rice, Snow, Hastert, and so on to those 2 words, but FUCK BUSH is delightfully succinct. It's nights like these that I YEARN to live in DC...in Georgetown, of course. With Woodward, Bernstein, and Bradlee as my neighbors. If only Kay Graham were still with us. Sigh.

Goodbye, Dolores & Patsy! Goodbye, '06 landscaping!

Out with TWO olds (in ONE day!), and in with a FUCKING NEW era of Gary! I celebrated with a 1:30am outside smoking of my Macanudo cigar. Puff, puff, as I stared up at the just-past-full moon, dreaming of the many other things I yearn to say goodbye to...

Sara, where are you again?

I wanna say New Zealand. I also keep thinking you're really someone I know who's just fucking with me. I hope not...it's rather delightful imagining there's some total stranger a world away reading my words. I also find it a tad curious that you reply to my plea for identification VERY soon after I wrote it...for someone who reads me only "now and again." If it's not YOU with the latest comment, WHO? DAMMIT!! The bottom line is i'm just very curious across the board...like to know who i'm dealing with. But I guess that's half the fun of the internet. And Lord knows I'VE fucked with people, both on the net AND in real life, with cryptic fun and games. So, hello, "Sara." Now i'm gonna be singing that Starship song in my head...

Hey, ANONYMOUS, who are you?

Are you the same person who wrote to me earlier in the year? Hmm, I think I need to concoct a new anonymous email address to, er, address all you "anonymous" posters. To make this posting a BIT more personal...i'm currently sipping hot cocoa with whipped cream, scanning the Sunday Star-Ledger, listening to/watching Letterman, reading a map, doing various things online, and eating non-stop. Yup, just another normal night. Only 12:15am...

VOTE...and read this...VOTE...and read this...VOTE...

God bless Bruce Springsteen's official web site for sending members a link to the following article. Hmm, didn't yours truly BASICALLY say the same thing a few days ago, albeit in a more profane, insulting way?

Insulting Our Troops, and Our Intelligence, by Thomas L. Friedman
New York Times, November 3, 2006

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld think you're stupid. Yes, they do.

They think they can take a mangled quip about President Bush and Iraq by John Kerry -- a man who is not even running for office but who, unlike Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney, never ran away from combat service -- and get you to vote against all Democrats in this election.

Every time you hear Mr. Bush or Mr. Cheney lash out against Mr. Kerry, I hope you will say to yourself, "They must think I'm stupid." Because they surely do.

They think that they can get you to overlook all of the Bush team's real and deadly insults to the U.S. military over the past six years by hyping and exaggerating Mr. Kerry's mangled gibe at the president.

What could possibly be more injurious and insulting to the U.S. military than to send it into combat in Iraq without enough men -- to launch an invasion of a foreign country not by the Powell Doctrine of overwhelming force, but by the Rumsfeld Doctrine of just enough troops to lose? What could be a bigger insult than that?

What could possibly be more injurious and insulting to our men and women in uniform than sending them off to war without the proper equipment, so that some soldiers in the field were left to buy their own body armor and to retrofit their own jeeps with scrap metal so that roadside bombs in Iraq would only maim them for life and not kill them? And what could be more injurious and insulting than Don Rumsfeld's response to criticism that he sent our troops off in haste and unprepared: Hey, you go to war with the army you've got -- get over it.

What could possibly be more injurious and insulting to our men and women in uniform than to send them off to war in Iraq without any coherent postwar plan for political reconstruction there, so that the U.S. military has had to assume not only security responsibilities for all of Iraq but the political rebuilding as well? The Bush team has created a veritable library of military histories -- from "Cobra II" to "Fiasco" to "State of Denial" -- all of which contain the same damning conclusion offered by the very soldiers and officers who fought this war: This administration never had a plan for the morning after, and we've been making it up -- and paying the price -- ever since.

And what could possibly be more injurious and insulting to our men and women in Iraq than to send them off to war and then go out and finance the very people they're fighting against with our gluttonous consumption of oil? Sure, George Bush told us we're addicted to oil, but he has not done one single significant thing -- demanded higher mileage standards from Detroit, imposed a gasoline tax or even used the bully pulpit of the White House to drive conservation -- to end that addiction. So we continue to finance the U.S. military with our tax dollars, while we finance Iran, Syria, Wahhabi mosques and Al Qaeda madrassas with our energy purchases.

Everyone says that Karl Rove is a genius. Yeah, right. So are cigarette companies. They get you to buy cigarettes even though we know they cause cancer. That is the kind of genius Karl Rove is. He is not a man who has designed a strategy to reunite our country around an agenda of renewal for the 21st century -- to bring out the best in us. His "genius" is taking some irrelevant aside by John Kerry and twisting it to bring out the worst in us, so you will ignore the mess that the Bush team has visited on this country.

And Karl Rove has succeeded at that in the past because he was sure that he could sell just enough Bush cigarettes, even though people knew they caused cancer. Please, please, for our country's health, prove him wrong this time.

Let Karl know that you're not stupid. Let him know that you know that the most patriotic thing to do in this election is to vote against an administration that has -- through sheer incompetence -- brought us to a point in Iraq that was not inevitable but is now unwinnable.

Let Karl know that you think this is a critical election, because you know as a citizen that if the Bush team can behave with the level of deadly incompetence it has exhibited in Iraq -- and then get away with it by holding on to the House and the Senate -- it means our country has become a banana republic. It means our democracy is in tatters because it is so gerrymandered, so polluted by money, and so divided by professional political hacks that we can no longer hold the ruling party to account.

It means we're as stupid as Karl thinks we are.

I, for one, don't think we're that stupid. Next Tuesday we'll see.

John Kerry and the escalating stupidity of politicians and my fellow Americans

I am NOT a fan of John Kerry. I am NOT a raging, tunnelvisioned Democrat. But anyone...ANYONE...who heard and/or saw his latest "blunder" in its full context and thought he was calling the troops stupid...well, YOU'RE a FUCKING MORON. Let me repeat...YOU. ARE. A. FUCKING. MORON. It was CLEARLY George Bush he was calling a stupid idiot...even in his joke's blundered form. There was ZERO ambiguity in what he said.

This could be the incident that finally makes me get my IQ tested...because i'm convinced more than ever i'm a fucking genius. Yet again, I sit in front of the TV, STAGGERED at 1) the stupidity of so many, 2) the Oprah-age, knee-jerk yearning for "an apology," and 3) the Republicans LEAPING at the chance for creating yet another distraction from the MAIN ISSUE on our minds...THE WAR IN IRAQ THAT IS MORE CHAOTIC BY THE HOUR AND HAS KILLED MORE THAN 2,800 AMERICANS.

There's just too many things for me to be disgusted by...too many related topics and points to make. The sight of Dubya at a rally, yelling about Kerry calling the troops stupid, when HE'S the stupid idiot being referred to...well, it makes me (again) wish I had a gun, this time to shoot at my TV, Elvis-style. So few know how to think for themselves, how to see clearly through the fog of bullshit, groupthink, and media hyperbole. The dumbing down of America...and its leaders...continues.

I still have my black nail polish on...

Every Halloween, I relish the notion that for ONE day, you can waltz down the streets in ANYthing and get away with it. It's most liberating. Winter, spring and summer need special days to dress up, too; once a year is not nearly enough. I'd like to pull off some kind of skimpy get-up where I get to walk around in a speedo. Hell, even just Frankie Avalon-esque trunks. I could be, um, an Olympic swimmer or surfer...yeah, that's right. I just like the idea of walking down normal streets on the last day of October in a speedo, showing off my skinny, yet toned and defined, self. As long as I'm not famous enough to get on the cover of Men's Fitness, this will have to suffice. I ain't getting any younger...gotta flaunt it while I can. It's likely just a fantasy, but stay tuned. I couldn't even look most people in the eye yesterday in my Sonny Bono After He Hit The Tree costume. I kept my head down on my way to the train station, knowing i'd burst into laughter if I made eye contact with the many business people in suits COMING from NYC. So i'm enjoying my black nail polish for the time being...feeling like Carson Daly for a couple days.