I could've left for CALIFORNIA today!

But I didn't. Instead, the cruel beat of logistics and timing goes on. Yet again. I'll wanna shoot myself if I think about this too much. Good luck, Milan. Shame we didn't hang out more -- or at ALL -- when we lived half-a-mile from each other. Stupidity.

Potentially the BIGGEST waste of a day EVER

I literally did NOTHING but sit on my couch and surf the internet. Honestly. I didn't even leave the house. This blog is the most productive thing i've done, ironically. Bloody awful. And it's one of those things where you KNOW you're deathly bored and restless...yet you're genuinely sluggish and tired...and it just keeps feeding into inself. Ugh. Seriously, i'm SO fucking irritated with this day in my life. I did finally get to view a first-run "The Simpsons," though; usually I seem NOT to be home at 8pm on a Sunday. God, I'm disgusted.

The Turning Point

Today, March 8, 2010, things finally shifted. In a lot of ways I have no interest in explaining, but OVERALL in the sense that I FINALLY FELT LIKE THE APARTMENT WAS MINE! Mine, mine, MINE!!!!! It only took more than 6 days, dammit. What a GREAT feeling, though. I'm still wrapping my head around so much.

2:35am...it'd be nice if I was in bed before 4am tonight for the first time in, oh, 10 days? I'm certainly exhausted...yet on a mild high from weight being lifted off my shoulders.

I will ABSOLUTELY keep my stiff upper lip.

Dipshit is GONE!

Out of my life! Well, almost. He apparently will be making some Special Return Appearance in a week or two to gather any mail and...vacuum. !?!? VACUUM? First he said he'd be back to return his cable box, which shocked me, as I had no faith in him doing such a thing. I told him I'd do it today; he was appreciative and moved on...for 5 seconds, before backing up into the kitchen to say he'd STILL be back to...do that vacuuming. It's insanity; I'M gonna vacuum tomorrow. Ugh.

The truth of the matter is that I have SO much to say, but can't really process it all. Plus, i've been writing in my diary ALL day, so all details are nicely tucked there. Third, i'm fucking EXHAUSTED from cleaning up HIS goddamn shit. He is THE WORST mover I may have EVER seen...a complete half-assed production. I was following him around like a nagging mother for 2 straight hours, reminding and asking him about endless possessions. Thank GOD I didn't make up somewhere to go; Lord KNOWS what i'd come back to see.

So he left about 1:10pm and I more or less cleaned up for 12 hours...and i'm still not done. Brought that cable box back, too. My energy level was THROUGH the bloody roof...running on the high of Dipshit exiting my life! Just too, too, TOO much to say, though.

End of an era. Thank God.

And now i'm enjoying a Guinness.

SO LONG, FUCKER!!!!!

2:02am...my LAST NIGHT WITH DIPSHIT!!?!

I think i'm in shock. I still can't process it. I mean, I really don't even know what to write here...that's how BIG this is. All sorts of chaotic things are going on in my life; my sanity's on an hour-by-hour basis. Today was shockingly GOOD though, overall. I'm doing some major knocking on Irish wood.

I have two main mottos at this life juncture: 1) One sanity-testing issue at a time, Gary; 2) tune EVERYONE on earth out. People's "suggestions," tips, opinions...90% of it is just ulcer-inducing NOISE to me that I'VE ALREADY THOUGHT OF, THANK YOU. I'm not stupid, i'm not patient, and i'm extremely cognizant (endlessly so) that i'm just not quite made like many other humans I know. So my EPIC STRESS is just often made worse when people start chiming in. I'm one man, and there's only 24 hours in a day; i'm doing the best I can to sort through and execute the 487 ideas in my head, combined with the LOGISTICS and FINANCES involved. So if i'm doing something...or NOT doing something...there's a reason. Don't fucking question me. Yeah, i'm testy...it's how I get through the day with a smile on my face. :)

I'm not ungrateful, i'm not an asshole, i'm not unaware people are concerned. I just wish people would understand that I operate best ALONE. If I need help or someone to talk to, you'll hear from me. If not, just leave me be to enjoy the golden silence and collect my dizzying thoughts. Eh, maybe I'm being too harsh...to a great degree, it's also all about the APPROACH to talking to me. Jesus Christ, who gives a shit. Bottom line in layman's terms is that I have a lot on my mind, so i'm kinda all over the place. Actually, the REAL bottom line is that DIPSHIT'S MOVING OUT (!!!!!), and what SHOULD be one of the happiest times in my LIFE is -- typically, for me -- mixed with polar opposite feelings. But I'm ending this on an optimistic note, dammit...cheers to ME and cheers to March 2010! GOOD NIGHT, DIPSHIT!