Silent tears falling as August draws to a close

Goodbye, sweet final month of meteorological summer! How I will miss thee! I took advantage of your last day by roaming NYC, watching the sun set over NJ, then going to Shop-Rite. By the way, though it looked a bit foolish and dangerous on the news, I'm actually an instant big fan of the new "pedestrian plazas" littering what used to be parts of Manhattan streets. I stood and sat in numerous places without being hit by a cab. Wonderful!

Driving Rts. 23, 519, 206 & 10

I need to fully flesh out this entry, but I'm too tired and it's too late now. I just wanted to get it down on the right date. That's what I did today...drove OH, SO CLOSE to the highest point in NJ...if only I wasn't irrationally paranoid the car wouldn't make it up the "steep upgrade"...and if only there wasn't a "Caution: Wide Load!" HOUSE on a truck in front of me, going about 10mph. It's OK, I've been to High Point (literal, us Jerseyans) before. The most fun came on green-dotted scenic Route 519 and then on Route 10, a major road i've somewhere NEVER been on in my life. I rode its full proper length right into downtown Newark...through some VERY bad areas where I literally could've been shot as I nervously waited at a light. I have so many very odd things to say about today's road jaunt...I can't even bore you with most of them. At one point, I found myself talking to some kind of large rodent (a muskrat? beaver? just not sure) who was definitely injured along the marshy side of what I THINK was Lake Hopatcong. It was very cute, though...and basically limping and crawling back into the woods. I felt so bad for it as it stared at me with sad eyes while falling onto a log. And I searched for literally about 25, 30 miles for a clean looking Chinese restaurant...to no avail. Sushi or Japanese, sure...but no quality Chinese takeout in sight!!?!?! I simply can't eat food from a dirty looking place. Ok, I need to collapse...

"A noun, and a verb, and 9/11"

This is instantaneously my favorite Joe Biden quote so far...referring to the "only 3 things" Rudy Giuliani mentions in a sentence. Too funny. And, yes, I'd heard it before today. For the record, it's because of Biden that i'll now definitely vote for Barack. The potential for White House fun is just limitless. Biden's smart, impatient, says whatever the fuck he wants...all traits I admire. Oh, and he's Irish Catholic...a nice little bonus. Let's throw in the fact that he's from underdog Delaware for good measure, too. He'd be the first Catholic VP and the first one from Delaware. But, yeah, i'm more interested in his fiery temper and sarcastic putdowns. And his inability to remember Barack's last name in his VP acceptance speech. Fun shit from Day One. **Bonus gaffe points to Barack for introducing Biden as "the next President." Well done!

Oh, my GOD, Charlie Gibson, would you shut the FUCK up?!?!

Motherfucker just KEPT talking at the beginning of Obama's "Here's my VP, Joe Biden!" speech. HOW many years are you in broadcasting now, Charlie?! We want to hear the newsmakers, not YOU. Jesus fucking Christ.

What's with MSNBC's programming decisions?

HOW many times have I turned them on during potentially breaking news (admittedly overhyped, NON-news often) only to find TO CATCH A PREDATOR or TO CATCH A THIEF? Is this working for them? It's just pissing ME off. I must research their ratings online. Are they not a NEWS channel? They also agitate me by repeating Keith Olbermann's show at 10pm from 2 hours earlier. Really...there's NO other anchor available to fill in this hour with a live show like their competitors, CNN and Fox News, do?

*Breaking news (pun intended)...as I write this, i've learned that Rachel Maddow (who's good, but I can see becoming as annoying as most other cable anchors) will get her own MSNBC show starting next month...but, inexplicably, Dan Abrams' show (which I like) ended tonight to make room for it. So now i'm just irritated even more by MSNBC than I was when I began this blog. Why not put Rachel on at 10pm and keep Abrams on the air? What the fuck? Oy. Yet more evidence that my career goal SHOULD be network programming chief.

YAY! Sara Bareilles' 2nd single has COMPLETELY failed!!

JUST as I'd predicted/prayed!!

Happy 50th, Madonna!!?!

After seemingly a decade-long countdown, THE icon of sex and youth (oh yeah, and music) for my generation turned 50 today. It's very tempting to call it depressing...but then you look at how vital and relevant she remains, and it's actually pretty damn inspiring. There's absolutely a time-passing-by melancholy to it, but in the end, it's how you look at it...your PERSPECTIVE, if you will. And Madonna is as contemporary as it gets; this is no oldies act, despite the admittedly large idiotic segment of the population that's stuck yearning for PAPA DON'T PREACH while "not feeling" her new stuff. But these are the same people who started getting dull and letting themselves go at 25...stopped listening to the radio, stopped being CONTEMPORARY themselves.

I've said all this before, and i'm again too tired to fully go into a diatribe. But whether you like Madonna's music or not, or think she's hot or not, there's no denying that Where She Stands at 50 represents a generational shift here on endless levels. And I, (thankfully) much younger, find it very exciting despite the "holy shit!" factor of time's passage. Flash back to 1983...name a 50-year-old ANYone with a #1 album, heavy radio play, provocative cover shots, a sold-out tour. Let alone a woman. Connie Francis was NOT on Z100's playlist. It JUST didn't happen. I really increasingly believe the greatest use celebrities serve is pushing youth, relevance and creativity further and further into adulthood. I know I'M still bursting with across-the-board potential and youthful exuberance. Happy 50th, Madonna, Icon of My Youth, and thank you for being as restless, inquisitive and competitive as ever.

A beautiful day at Monmouth Park Racetrack

And I just continue to cross things off my Summer '08 To Do List! If only i'd made a profit today. I DID win $7.20 on my first bet, but won zippo after that initial burst of confidence. Gorgeous weather, though, along with good company...and an eventual dip in the ocean. A damn good Saturday.

Strolling down Newark's Ferry Street

That's what I finally decided to do this afternoon. Been meaning to for literally years. Yet the thing that stoked my interest in doing so -- finding a fancy independent coffee place I'd read about -- couldn't be found. Where the hell it is, I have no idea. Did it close? Anyway, it was still an interesting walk. And I fetched a half-dozen Portuguese custard cups, which are just beyond incredible to ingest. Didn't expect them to be $1.40 each, but whatever. Well worth it. I almost drank by myself at an outside tiki bar, but decided another time soon. It's August 15th, down to the wire to Get Those Summer Plans Done! So later on, I also successfully fetched my pint of Ciao Bella Blackberry Cabernet sorbetto...this brand being one of my latest obsessions. Pricy, yes, but OH, SO GOOD!

Are you sensing a sudden zeal for broadening my culinary horizons? You'd be most correct. I can't believe I'm saying this, but within the past month, I've lost all interest in frozen dinners. Problem is, it's not like I've developed an interest in cooking, and I certainly can't eat out every night...like I have this week. Hmm, this life change will need some tinkering. Sure, I'll always love my Hungry Man fried chicken...but I'd rather have FRESH fried chicken. I'm too tired to ramble any more about my changing food habits. All that walking through Newark...

The John Edwards, um, Affair

You know what i'm gonna say, right? It's exhausting and repetitive, so I'll just boil it down to this...I don't know what aggravates me more, the hypocrisy of the politicians involved in such scandals or the fact that they're more or less forced INTO such hypocrisy by an idiotic American public that insists politicians -- POLITICIANS!?!?!?!!!?!??! -- live by the highest moral code possible. And I guess I have to add this, too...the actual ACT of infidelity? EH, whatever. That's life. Doesn't remotely shock or bother me. Can EVERYONE wake up?! HELLLOOOOOOO!! Will it take the Pope fucking an 18-year-old, very willing Amish boy up the ass to finally knock sexual reality into Americans' heads? Or maybe the discovery of a pack of lesbian elderly nuns? Am I making myself clear on where I stand on the John Edwards issue?

Wow, I just went more than a WEEK sans blogging?!

I WAS very busy last week, and then followed that up with a self-imposed "Do Jackshit" weekend. But I DO so very hate going so long without imposing my thoughts on the masses. I mustn't let so long a gap happen again! Again, though, it's kinda funny and ironic...I've had too MANY thoughts to process, so I just zoned out and put none of them to paper, er, keyboard.

Four words that pained me..."Hey, how's it goin?"

It occurred to me yesterday that there was a chance I could go 4 weeks...basically a solid MONTH...without seeing Dipshit. I hadn't seen him since last Wednesday morning, and between his summer beach house and job, and my endless random lifestyle that I won't even get into, there existed a chance, if I manipulated my schedule right, that I could go until like September 1st, Labor Day, without seeing him. Sleeping doesn't count; last night, he was asleep when I got home, and this morning, he left before I got up. It's all about actually ENCOUNTERING him. Sigh...it was not to be. He came home earlier than I thought he would about an hour ago, and I was forced to utter the 4 words of the subject line. Eh, at least it was just 4 words. AND he left again within 10 minutes! SO...I'm gonna try this again now and see if I can go about THREE weeks without seeing him. I'd be very, very, VERY happy with 4 words spoken to him in a month's time. Must...craft...avoidance schedule...ASAP.

I need BIG BROTHER explained to me

I need to know why a single living soul spends a single moment watching this.

I need to know how anyone can remotely care about these vapid asswipes.

I need to know how a studio audience remains conscious during live airings.

I need to know how said studio audience is lured into their seats to begin with.

I need to know if Julie Chen actually finds anything remotely compelling about her job.

I need to know if anyone finds Julie Chen remotely compelling.

I need to know if William S. Paley is turning over in his grave.

My newest goal...NEVER pay full price for a Metrocard again!

And I don't mean by buying in chunks of $10.00 so I get a free ride. What I mean is an extension of my 2-weeks-ago blog about finding a $12.50 Metrocard on the ground. Because on Friday...I found two MORE cards with balances on them. Granted, they were for $.25 and $1.10, but does NOT every cent count? More to the point, it just further got me giddy about (yet again) taking advantage of other people's stupidity and making a game of it. I decided I NEVER want to purchase a Metrocard again! I just wanna KEEP finding them on the ground! I'm not remotely kidding when I say this is very exciting to me. I almost wanna make an afternoon of it...going to the various PATH stations in NJ and scouring the ground for accidentally dropped/discarded cards...but I won't...honest. It's tempting, though. I dunno, I just HAVE to assume most of these cards ARE accidentally dropped...i'm being hopeful here. Partly because of littering. Partly because I just can't fathom someone saying "eh, I don't need this $1.10 balance...i'm made of money." No matter the reason they're laying there on the ground, I'M intent on never paying full price for NYC subways/PATH again!

I can't stand people who doublepark and don't stay in the car

I'd like to take a fucking rifle and shoot out all 4 tires. Then the windshield for good measure. It's lazy and/or inconsiderate...the same offenses as always. Somehow I've managed my entire driving life to find an actual parking space...and you KNOW how bloody impatient I am. They're either totally fucking up traffic flow or blocking in someone's car. FUCKING ASSHOLES.

52 MPH

That's the speed I was going tonight on a major, 3-lane highway...in the fast lane...and FLYING past everyone around me. Keep in mind that's 3 mph BELOW the speed limit. I write this to illustrate JUST how fucking slowly most of you drive, and also to show that i'm NOT the 95 mph, weaving lunatic I'm sure many readers think I am. 52-fucking-MPH. Are you FUCKING kidding me? Everyone around me had to be going 40, 45 mph...ON A MAJOR HIGHWAY! IN CLEAR, DRY WEATHER! Another day surrounded by morons...

Here we are in AUGUST...

And i'm elated to report I've made it this far sans air conditioner, and am 90% certain both weather and living conditions won't warrant my window being obstructed by one during the remainder of this summer! YAY! Haha, I won! Fuck you, air conditioner! See how competitive I am...even with objects. On a sadder note, on this, er, august occasion, I can report that all of my plants are completely dead, having borne ZERO fruit. You know, the ones I bought in April with such giddiness...peppers, strawberries and tomatoes. And the fiber optic grass has BEEN dead in my living room most of this entire time. Motherfuckers! What did I do wrong?! Finally, I simply ask, as usual...HOW THE FUCK IS IT AUGUST?!?!