The grease-caked colander is GONE!

And I'm numb with joy. This PIECE OF SHIT sitting in my cupboard has made me twitch with rage for literally years. I don't know WHICH roommate's it was originally...but Dipshit made it his own, endlessly using it with his vegetable oil and Foreman Grill and other infuriatingly messy & loud culinary concoctions. And, sure, he'd "wash" it...in the way a 4-year-old would. And it'd get filthier...and filthier...and filthier. And keep going RIGHT back into the cabinet.

I bought my OWN colander probably 5 years ago now, which Dipshit KNEW not to touch. It was -- like so much between us -- unspoken, but he knew by its placement in "my" area of the cupboard to not dare place his hands on it. I can't believe I lasted as long as I did dumping my pasta into this sickening metal shitbasket.

But Dipshit's rarely here anymore, so I decided -- kinda outta nowhere this week -- to trash the sticky, bug-inviting disgrace. I stuffed it into a ShopRite bag and dumped it into the corner bus stop garbage can. Adios! Seriously, nothing I write can convey what a big step this is for me. A ridiculous one, for sure, but I long ago realized ridiculousness IS my life. This is the end of an ERA of kitchen horror...and a further chipping away of Dipshit's terrible presence.