HALLOWEEN...on the Forbes yacht!

BOO!! Tonight's spooky festivities were, in my mind, so "big" that I really don't have the words to properly convey how great it was. In short, thanks to Hungarian Angelina, I spent 3 hours on the Forbes yacht...sailing around Manhattan while drinking and eating to my heart's content. My outfit? "SONNY BONO...AFTER HE HIT THE TREE." Inspiration comes so randomly. This year's costume originally was leaning toward Mr. Furley until I came into the possession of multiple skis and poles just 5 days ago. 70s clothing + one ski and one pole + some face makeup & fake blood = the costume that came to be. Another instant classic if you ask me. Ask about my cock...costume of the past, that is.

But back to the Forbes yacht. Well, it's late, i'm rather beat after a VERY long day, and again, words can't convey. SO...well, it was great...fantastic...surreal...an extravagance I could never imagine, but definitely could get used to...quickly. My 2 shots were yummy, my amaretto on the rocks was smooth, ass-kicking perfection, and my Corona was sublime while lounging on the deck on a 65 degree, balmy Night of Terror. The food was excellent, too. And the Macanudo cigar! And free magazines and postcards. And candy! Shoulda stolen some soap or something, though. But that would be taking advantage. The hired help...all courteous and friendly. EVERYthing was ideal. But what struck you most was simply the combined magnificence of SUCH a view from SUCH a vantage point. And THAT you had to be there for. For 3 glorious hours, I didn't have a worry in the world...though solitary, on-deck gazing with liquor in your hand certainly inspires much thinking. Just one of those experiences where, if you're smart, you're just overwhelmed with desperately trying to be "in the moment" and appreciate what's happening, because it WAS something special that a lot of people never experience in their lives. But then it's over...and it's like it never happened...except you have those provocative photos of yourself haphazardly strewn in one of the cabin's bathtubs with a ski and pole on top of you. Classy all the way.

And now it's time for hot cocoa and the continuation of my yearly tradition...watching the classic HALLOWEEN. I began it last night, but the best parts are yet to come. Goodbye, October '06...you've been VERY good to me!

Here's MY mischief...pumpkin ice cream and hot cocoa

MMMMMMMMMMMM. I finally bought it last night...my Edy's "limited edition" pumpkin ice cream. SO good! Creamy, orange, PUMPKIN!! It was complemented by my first sipping of hot cocoa (with mini marshmallows, naturally) of the season. Both of which I enjoyed again tonight...Mischief Night. I managed to navigate the night sans stabbing or egging. There's always tomorrow...HALLOWEEN. Soon, I will turn off the lights, sit in bed with cocoa, hit play on the VCR, and hear that beautiful music...

Gay marriage: NJ wises up...kinda

My progressive Garden State Supreme Court has officially decided gay couples are entitled to the same legal and financial protections as normal, I mean, heterosexual couples. Well, THANK GOD for small miracles in the generally idiotic world we reside in, although they stopped short of saying "come get your marriage license!"

For the fucking life of me, I will NEVER grasp why anyone thinks they have the right to impose their ASSININE and BACKWARDS moral and religious beliefs on others. Let's be very clear...if two men or two women wanna get married, IT DOES NOT CONCERN YOU. It DOES, however, concern THEM if their very real years-long relationship isn't recognized as legal in Bush's Jackass America. It's times like this I YEARN to become a politician.

Let me remind my faithful readers (and WHO are you, exactly?) that I have BIG issues with the institution of marriage. Also, I've actually been to a gay wedding (or ceremony, or whatever the hell they wanted to call it), and it was VERY bizarre to see a MAN walking up the aisle to meet HIS "husband." Kinda queer, actually...pun intended. To me, marriage will always be "mom and dad" and the idea of spawning others to continue the human race. But that's ME. My point is...my issues are MY problem, and I have better things to do with my life than actively seeking to rob others of happiness and peace of mind. Who gives a flying fuck who gets married to who?!?! Allow everyone to realize the potential miserable hell that is marriage, I say. Or, yes, the rapturous joy of staring at the same person every day for 60 years. MUST...resist...knee-jerk...cynicism.

Sometimes there IS a clear right and clear wrong. I'm tired of hearing about "seeing all points of view." The fact is that there's many, MANY stupid, repressed morons in the world with the WRONG point of view...and too many of them hold public office. When it comes to gay couples being legally recognized, don't bring up God, the Bible, or your motherfucking tax dollars. When you take your last breath on this earth, it's all about love and relationships...and doing what's right.

A Greene Wedding: Surprise 2nd cousins, endless bottles of beer, and a "Katrina dog" named Bro...

One never really knows what to expect from weddings. Particularly ones where 1) you barely know the couple and 2) you're the only one in your age group of the people you DO know. Translation...I went to a family wedding yesterday, barely know my 2nd cousin groom, had never met the bride, and was surrounded by relatives -- including my parents -- roughly between 18 and 33 years older than me.

Being I've always had a particular fondness for this side of the family, and also was always one of those kids who relished sitting around the table over tea and cigarettes as the grown-ups bullshitted, I wasn't really concerned about being bored or feeling awkwardly out of place. You can toss in the fact, too, that i'm not exactly a painfully shy, socially stunted wallflower. Still, though, I really had no idea what I was getting into when my cousin graciously asked me to be her guest. You see, BEING I don't know the groom that well, he'd only invited my parents...that is, The Adults You Have to Invite Even Though You Never See Them Because Our PARENTS All Know Each Other. So i'm lucky to have even experienced the surreal joy that was yesterday.

Let me throw in here, just because I find it wildly amusing and interesting, that my cousin met his wife in prison. HA! He's a correction officer at one of the most notorious prisons around; she's a parole counselor at the same prison. Yet again, a man in uniform gets the girl.

The wedding itself...Catholic, lovely, emotional (for the couple, that is; I wasn't myself reduced to tears in the pew). I surprised myself even at this early juncture by not being consumed with cynicism toward both marriage AND religion throughout the mass. Rather, I was genuinely happy for all involved...when I wasn't sizing up my fellow churchgoers. Hey, wait, there was no communion...I just realized that. A truncated Catholic service! And there was no receiving line at the end of mass, either...which explains why I didn't say ONE word to the bride the entire night. My cousin, thankfully, I did BRIEFLY get to wish well, during the reception family picture. Whether he even knew who I was, though, i'm not sure...which was a big part of my after-wedding melancholy.

I could go on for hours, but i'd like to get to bed before 3am, so i'll try to speed this up. After the wedding is when (naturally) things got interesting. We were invited "back to the house" to fill the gap before the 6pm reception. Here, finger foods, cookies, Halloween candy (mmmm, Twizzlers), and a cooler of beer welcomed us. I had 3 beers in barely more than an hour. We were greeted at the door by 2 precious little doggies. A brown furry thing named Cassie or Casey...and Bro, the Katrina rescue, a black lab I think. I YEARNED for dogs to be able to talk, as I was so curious as to what Bro had been through and who his previous owners were...and if they were even still alive. He was the CUTEST dog. God, I love dogs. Oh, how I miss my precious baby furball.

Anyway, about a half hour into this escalating drunkfest, it was made clear to me that 2 of the "stranger men" i'd been walking past without a word...were my 2nd cousins. Our grandfathers were siblings. These newfound cousins were brothers, 31 and 27, and lived around Tampa, FL. One of them even has the same first AND last name as my grandfather. I was, and remain, floored by this. It was just all so bizarre. I found myself monitoring their every move throughout the night, obsessive stalker freak that I am. Let's be clear...I wasn't following them to the urinals. I merely mean that their table was next to mine, so I'd just find myself lookin at them, wondering what the FUCK they were like as human beings...just studying them. Me being me, I wondered if they were as fixated on what MY deal was as I was on theirs. I refrained from asking. I do think I made SOME impression at the house, though -- it was me who went right up to them after The Revelation, said "hey, we're cousins! I'm Gary!," and extended my hand. And they actually BOTH came up to me later...and addressed me by name...while I had to ask theirs again. But I know now...John and Brian. At the time, though, I felt like an ass. I can't even blame it on the multiple Coronas and sambuca, as they seemed more tanked than me...yet remembered my name. I must say, my purely speculative first impressions were very positive. They seemed like fun, normal peers. I mean, they were drunk and dancing to Justin Timberlake...that's all I ask of ANYone.

And so, when it came to leave, I was bummed. I'd just met these people 7 hours earlier....and really didn't even get to have serious conversations. Fleeting, humorous, drunken, profanity-laden moments...yes. And this refers to tons of other relatives, too...both known and just-met. Horrible. I had FUN. LOTS of fun. These are people I wanna know. I remain VERY perplexed why I don't know the groom better...he lives 40 minutes from me. What the fuck? It's not our fault...it's the damn parents. I feel like i've been robbed of a fun, same-aged cousin. And even if we had some incredible reconnection ASAP...childhood, the teen years, the wild 20s -- all gone now. Dramatic of me, perhaps. And it gets me nowhere. Many, if not most, people wouldn't give two shits about relatives they don't know. But they're valid regrets. It's sheer circumstance, luck, timing that I know some relatives but don't know others. And this comes at a time, may I add, where i've been LAMENTING how fucking large my family is...how SICK i've become of nonstop family functions and the inherent pressure and expectation they bring on multiple levels. The optimist in me would say that I should be grateful I know my groom cousin at ALL...and that I miraculously attended his wedding. And that's true. I just have a hard time with Coulda & Shoulda Beens. But, dammit, I WILL work forward from this and get to know these people better...somehow. Bottom line, though...I had a GREAT time yesterday...Saturday, October 21, 2006. And i'm grateful.

It is delightfully brisk outside! 46 degrees, winds whipping, leaves everywhere...

Funny how it reminds me of...Daytona Beach, FL. Yes, there's an anecdote. No, I won't share it. Makes for a fond memory, though.

Wing Wagon -- Flatbush Ave, Park Slope, Brooklyn

Some of the BEST wings i've had in AGES!! Exactly what I needed today after a lot of walking around Manhattan and Brooklyn. By the way, what I said about being tired of NYC a little bit back? Well, it still stands...but...a BIG "but"...I just had the BEST time today and tonight riding the subway. Ha, I don't mean that's all I did for hours. I just mean that riding the Q train from 57th in Manhattan to 7th Ave in Park Slope and back again to 14th St was just exhilarating. Honestly. I loved it. I loved watching the people around me. Listening to the people around me. Seeing how everyone was dressed on a Saturday night. I loved the train coming out of the tunnel as it entered the Manhattan Bridge, first around 5:30pm and later at about 10:30, when all of lower Manhattan was lit up to admire. I enjoyed walking through the streets in the brisk autumn air. I even enjoyed the subway platform musicians at top decibal. And how about this? Just caught the end of SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER, where Travolta rides the delightfully graffiti-covered subway all night, and they show a 1977 NYC sunrise with the Twin Towers. Just perfect. That movie always makes me nostalgic, but joy narrowly wins over melancholy tonight. I do so love subways, and I will always...to some healthy degree...love New York.

Leaf blowing...today's example of "Fucking Asinine Things People Do"

So there's some minor pile-up of leaves out front in a couple spots. All one would need is a rake and 2 hands, and the leaves could be in a trash bag in under 10 minutes. But, no, let's lug out a fucking vacuum device of some kind and BLOW THE LEAVES AROUND...into the street. Yes, because THAT will make them disappear. Surely they won't blow RIGHT back into piles within a few days. Jesus Christ, honestly, is EVERYONE both stupid and completely unable to perform manual labor anymore?!?!?! I repeat...raking and picking up the leaves and putting them into a bag WILL make them vanish. Blowing them around the neighborhood WON'T. Got it? Likely not.

A special news report. The words "plane crash." Smoke billowing out of a high rise.

For about 10 seconds this afternoon, my stomach was in knots. Ten seconds. That's it. I stumbled onto today's news of the NYC plane crash a few minutes into things. All I saw was the smoke and "plane crash." It quickly became clear, though, from both the images AND the newscaster that this WAS "only" a small plane or copter, and it was "only" a random apartment high-rise. It was NOT a landmark building with a jet plane through it. Scary, unsettling, newsworthy for sure...but isn't it funny how relative things have become since Sept. 11th? The most stunning thing turned out to be that Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle was on the plane and killed. He was a licensed pilot, though it's not clear whether he or a 2nd person, also killed, was at the controls. As always, anyone killed would've been a tragedy, but a prominent person dying multiplies the shock factor. That Lidle died DAYS after the Yankees' surprising post-season loss, during a week of rampant "who will be fired?!" speculation, makes it even more odd and surreal. Oh, yes, and one can't forget that today is...the 11th. A very strange, sad, scary news event...which, YET again, focuses me on the "perspective" part of this blog title.

I canNOT tolerate Rita Cosby's voice!! PLEASE fire her!!

Does she have a cock? Did she used to? Seriously, except for transvestites one encounters on the streets of NYC and maybe Suzanne Pleshette in her later years, I can't think of another woman who more sounds like a man. And it's not even an attractive, honey-coated female voice. It just sounds like sandpaper, like she's getting over pneumonia, like she's a man. Surely i've bitched about this before...i'm losing track of my rants. Forgive me if I repeat. I'm not trying to be funny...Cosby's voice is PAINFUL to listen to. It induces channel changing. How in the name of fucking Christ she has made it to national TV airwaves is SO beyond me. She needs to take up mime. Take note, MSNBC.

Patterns and habits

Ever notice how you'll do something -- anything -- for a certain period of time, often a very long period, and then you realize you HAVEN'T done it in a good long time? But there was no set date when you decided you'd stop...it just kinda happened. And it's only after a few weeks that this dawns on you. And I DO mean stupid little things, the mundane patterns or habits of daily life. Like, in my case, watching FRASIER every single night at 12:30am, followed by either FRASIER again or THE GOLDEN GIRLS. Of course, even if I wanted to, I can't watch FRASIER twice on Ch. 11 anymore because the geniuses at the, um, CW Network have decided to replace it with...are you honestly fucking ready?...ACCORDING TO JIM. Sad on so many levels. I feel compelled to add that when I say "watch," I mean it's "on" while i'm generally doing other things. Yes, I feel the constant need to stress that I rarely JUST sit there staring at a television. But back to my patterns. I used to take the garbage or recyclables out at ungodly late hours...anytime between 1 and 4am. I realized last night -- when I took bottles out at about 12:30am -- that I now find it taxing to make a special trip outside at that hour. But when did I stop? And why? I also realized, though, that I usually combined such garbage trips with sitting on the front steps, and I KINDA missed that, but even that's grown a tad old. But give it time...I'm sure i'll be back on the porch late at night once it gets refreshingly brisk. It's tempting to call this all a very stupid topic to blog about. But if we all just jiggled around the daily minutae of our lives, think how much more, dare I say, INVIGORATING things could be! Why DO you do the things that you do, and the way that you do them, every day? Most likely, it just HAPPENED. There's no big reason. I love habits and patterns, but i'm increasingly aware of how much fun -- and how easy -- it is to slide out of certain ones.

Relatives

Sangria and red wine have made me VERY tired, so this won't be too long. But I went to a baptism party today. And just watched BROTHERS & SISTERS, a show I'm finding myself oddly drawn to, despite some heavy-handed dialogue and cliched situations. But I found today's party almost excruciating to sit through. And it's nothing personal. I just tend to hate most parties set at a restaurant...ie, where you're all at tables and barely move all night. There's precious little mingling, and even conversations with people at your own table are strained and awkward. The ENTIRE thing's awkward. I didn't say ONE word to half my family the entire night. Now, mind you, these aren't my first cousins or aunts and uncles I was with...just other cousins. I just have too much family. It's becoming increasingly tedious to me. I hate saying that, but it's true. They're good people, and individually, at the right times, I can have wonderful chats with most of them. But far too much of it is forced. And i'm fucking sick of it. If i'm an asshole, fine. I don't give a fuck anymore. I just wanna go like a year without a single family fest except for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I don't feel myself at these things. There's always stupid ass adult contemporary music playing the entire time...and then "wedding dance songs" like YMCA for the after-dinner gyration portion of the affair. It's painful to listen to and watch. I don't have a spouse. I don't have a baby. I have no happy little suburban life to chit-chat about. I don't give two shits about town politics. I just feel like I have ABSOLUTELY nothing to say to ANYONE. And YET...I KNOW i'm fucking fascinating beyond words, lol. I find myself most comfortable at these things with my cousins under the age of 10, asking them about school and what they're being for Halloween. I actually DO care, too. At these things, I just wanna whip off my tie, throw on my baseball cap slightly askew, and rant profanely like I do here...and then some. I just feel so reined in, so not me. And I hate that. Rest assurred, politeness and witty, sarcastic banter remain intact. But there's so much fakeness in the room, so much decades-old relationship boundaries. I feel like no one's for real. So I just sit at my table, drink my sangria, toss out a witty comment here and there, but generally keep my mouth shut to what I REALLY wanna blurt out. I'm sick of being nice and the whole thing's a bore. Again, nothing personal. If the party's at a house, things are a BIT better...more interaction. Family just doesn't mean as much to me as it did 15 years ago. Then again, many have dropped dead since then. And it depends on the side of the family. Oh, this is ridiculous to talk about on here...it's too complicated. And i'm too tired. I'll comfort myself with the idea that maybe others feel JUST as awkward around ME. My main fear is that I just will NOT feel right at any family gathering until I have a bride and baby. And THAT ain't happening soon. Thus, let's stop these gatherings. They're too much agita. Because i'll NEVER be like everyone else, which will forever be, at once, the greatest gift and greatest curse.

AUTUMNAL!!

This has been just the IDEAL first weekend of October! Was it really around 80 just on Wednesday? Yesterday was cloudy and brisk and in the 50s during the DAY! Today was milder and eventually sunny, but still seemed Octoberish. The leaves are finally changing, too...and crunching under your feet. Let's not forget it's darker later in the morning, for those of us who detest dawn's early light. It's all just great! Perhaps the surest sign of autumn...I lit a candle last night for the first time since like April...which is lit again now. The scent? PUMPKIN PIE! The house is cool, sleeping with a warm blanket is again the norm, i'm wearing long comfy pants and a flannel shirt, and I made biscuits for dinner. I'm now enjoying Breyer's double-churned vanilla ice cream (double-churned being the only type of Breyer's worth your money) and I think my 7th cup of hot tea today. MMMM!! Don't you wish you were here? Sure you do...only i'm glad you're not. Being ALONE is the icing on the cake of this fantastic AUTUMNAL weekend!!

I spent SEVEN hours at the gym today

I can't believe it, either. The reasoning behind it is typically Gary, though i'm not going into it, not that there's much to go into. Another anecdote for my autobiography. It's certainly the most time I can EVER imagine spending at a gym, so I dig that today featured a personal milestone. I'm a fucking lunatic. Hey, there's worse ways to spend 7 hours.

The unexpected peril of painting -- too much time to think

It's one thing to be by yourself with distractions...at home, in a car, at the gym, in a store. But painting this week has become almost agita-inducing. Hours a day, alone with my thoughts...more so, PROBLEMS...as I brush and roll paint on, over and over and over and over, with NOTHING else to do but THINK. There's various great things about this gig, but I didn't expect to be saddled with so much weary introspection.

Am I the only American who could NOT care less about GREY'S ANATOMY?

I've never seen a whole episode. It's CERTAINLY not appointment TV. In fact, I have zero interest in spending a minute of my life watching it. I've been meaning to write about my complete non-interest for a while, but i'm spurred now because I just read a little thing in the Post where the TV reviewer says GREY'S is in danger of ALLY MCBEAL cutesyness. EXACTLY!! It's just so fucking impressed with itself. About the only good thing I can say for it is that it's made The Fray even more popular. Sadly, that's a bad thing at the same time, as i'll now think of GREY'S every time I hear The Fray. But i'm just sooooooooo fucking sick of evvvvvvvvvvvery fuuuuuuucking person I run into saying some form of OH, MY GOD, I LOVE GREY'S ANATOMY!! It's a motherfucking TV show, people...yet another "hospital drama"...with yet another romantic triangle accompanied by a "Jesus, this is soooooo sad!" score. I just don't get it. Perhaps what I don't get most is how so many people have the time to invest in MULTIPLE hour-long dramas. Are you saying "oh, Gary, shut the fuck up!" yet? While i'm at it, though, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES is worse than ever. And yet...these are like the nation's top 2 shows. What the fuck?

Christopher Cosgrove, 23, the 61st service member with ties to NJ to die in Iraq

I didn't know him. But I read the story about him on page 13 in yesterday's Ledger. I always feel it's the least I can do, depressing as it is...putting a name, face, life story to the statistics. It's the accompanying yearbook pictures that always get you...that hammer home how young these people are who are across the world fighting, and dying, for our country. But what ARE they fighting for exactly? It's their decision to serve, and with war comes death, but i'm getting very tired of reading these obituaries. I'm no war strategist, but how many men and women have to die before the Bush administration maybe decides that their Iraq "plan" isn't working quite well? It occurred to me yesterday for the first time (inexplicably, perhaps) that the death toll from Sept. 11th is still rising.

Amish mayhem

I've always been afraid of the Amish. I have a long history with them. They've been part of the fabric of my life. Ok, so that's pushing it a little...but i've been around them. And they scare me. Much like Hasidic Jews. Much like ANY crazy religious people...especially those dressed in Death Black. The first movie my family ever rented for the VCR (!!) was WITNESS. Odd. Great movie, but an amusing choice. What happened today in the rolling hills of Lancaster County, PA is horrific in and of itself...but that the Amish were the victims just puts it on a whole other level. And even though they were the VICTIMS, and the whole nightmare is freakishly random, it kinda reminded me of what i've always said...that the country/sticks/rural towns of this country leave me feeling far more spooked than a big city to some degree. A pitch black country road...shudder. Evil is everywhere. And it's scarier where you least suspect it. What is WRONG with this world? Well, that anyone can easily purchase murderous weapons for one...

Welcome to the pivotal 4TH QUARTER!

OCTOBER is here. I'm excited. Despite the lack of exclamation points. Every damn year, it amazes me how much I kinda wind up enjoying the fall...i'm such a "summer person." But i've always loved the seasonal changes, too...and autumn and winter clothing and food. Ha! Nothing like corduroys and a hoodie. And hot soup. And EVERYTHING pumpkin! I canNOT wait to purchase "limited edition" pumpkin ice cream. The walk through the leaves on a crisp, golden-sunlit evening. Of course, at the same time, i'm seeing how long I can keep walking around in my wife beater and flops. It's a struggle. It's been a GREAT September weatherwise...and otherwise. It's the "otherwise" that's of most interest to me this year. I'm optimistic about the last 3 months of the year. MUCH to do. And I mean MUCH. For now, though, i'm gonna get wild and crazy and mix my shit up...and actually get into bed shortly after midnight. I have a cold again, am rather exhausted, and DO have work in the morning...