January, why must you leave me?

You were very good to me, but you're leaving too soon! Always, ALWAYS too soon. I can't complain, though. I'm actually pretty damn happy with the resolution progress I've made in the first month of 2010. The month ahead...pivotal. No joke. PIVOTAL. Life altering. No, that is NOT hyperbole.

And TONIGHT, the nail-studded moldings are kicked to the curb...

Inexplicably, for EIGHT-AND-A-HALF YEARS, these 2 moldings taller than me have gathered dust in a corner of a spare little room. Remnants of ANOTHER Dipshit who used to live here and couldn't fit his couch through the doorway without ripping the moldings down...a couch that I'm sitting on right now, actually...VERY comfy; it's one of his very few lasting benefits.

Tonight, I cracked each of these moldings in two with my foot, hammered the nails safely flat, put them in the trunk of the car and hurled them into the Pathmark dumpster before I went food shopping. Not a soul reading this will grasp the RELIEF it is to be rid of this GARBAGE. From my current perch, I'd always look up and see these lethal beams of wood. But no more! Just another of my daily steps to rid myself of ANY Dipshit-era lingering clutter. I want ZERO reminders of the existence of other humans in my apartment during the past decade. Christ, what a nightmare I wish I could rewrite....

DIPSHIT GIVES NOTICE!!!!!

I REPEAT: DIPSHIT GIVES NOTICE.

12:52AM, January 18, 2010

GONE BY "THE END OF FEBRUARY."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CUE GARY'S LIFE STARTING ANEW!

*Though, naturally, even The Greatest News On Earth made me wanna throttle him. He wanted to give me "some lead time" and tell me "as soon as possible." OH, REALLY? SUCH A FUCKING LYING SACK OF SHIT. Since when is 6 weeks such great advance notice? Especially when he's KNOWN FOR MONTHS when he's getting married and, in general, moving out. Oh. My. God. How I hate this sonofabitch. I will now plot how to maximize annoying HIM until the minute the front door closes behind him for the last time. Starting with hiding the toilet paper.

But on the BRIGHT side...DIPSHIT WILL BE OUT OF MY LIFE IN 6 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And JUST as I dreamed months ago, BEFORE my birthday!!!!! So, in a way, it's ideal. It's just the lying, bullshit, asshole, douchebag part of it that annoys me.

FUCKING DIPSHIT. One of my life's BIGGEST mistakes.

Worst earthquake in centuries in Haiti

About 4:55pm today, a 7.0 earthquake struck roughly 10 miles west of Port-au-Prince. Ten hours later, much is still not known about the extent of the damage and death, but it is clearly -- VERY clearly -- going to be catastrophic. Daylight will reveal much more. I've been riveted to CNN and Twitter all night. I'll tell ya, this damn Twitter which I've so mocked...it really is astonishing. Most of the news was coming from Twitter and Facebook, NOT television. The scope of this disaster, though, is just mind-boggling. I feel ridiculous bitching about ANYthing in my life. And how utterly absurd that the other big story of the day was NBC's Jay Leno-Conan O'Brien debacle. Yet again, things are put into perspective. Poof, in an instant, thousands likely died today. The mind can't even process it.

We're all gonna die!

I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of people -- of all ages -- are wising up to the fact that we're all gonna drop dead, perhaps sooner than later. I've had more conversations than I can count recently involving time's swift passage and how it's ridiculous -- STUPID -- that people don't see each other more often. I do NOT think i'm imagining this. And I'm as guilty as anyone...maybe more so, given that i'm always obsessing about time. So I hope we all work toward spending more time together, along with DOING things that we keep putting off. You're gonna blink and be dead. Cheers!

Gary is...oh, this is my blog?

I literally walk this earth now thinking of myself in the Facebook third person, dreaming of zippy one liners or two. To the point where I REALLY need to ponder how i'm gonna use this blog. I'm bored by it, almost in the same way I am by handwriting into a diary, I mean, journal -- I realize i'm a man and we're supposed to say JOURNAL so as to appear more masculine.

Anyway, at the very least, i'm trying to maintain my New Year's resolution to FOCUS on writing ANYthing, so that's why i'm rambling here now. Terribly boring. Bear with me; every now and then, I'm sure I can resume being interesting here in this format....