INCHING toward that first ever Lacoste purchase

TONIGHT I made a crucial first step...finding out what the fuck their numbered French sizes correspond to in USA lingo. I was on the right path...5 is medium, which is MY size generally in shirts. There's also a sale on (!) at Macy's on select Lacoste products. Exciting shit. I DO think in the coming days, I will own my very own unbelievably high-priced, pretentious, "look at fuckin ME!" Lacoste shirt. I'll gulp and take a deep breath when I hand over the money (cash, thank you), knowing it's outrageous. But I won't care. Because I fucking deserve some luxury, dammit. I WILL wear it "ironically," though. Never doubt for a single second that I have it on (which will be frequently, of course) that i'm not AWARE of it being on, and what that little Croc stitching says to the world.