Oh, look, my monogrammed toenail clipper!

I forgot I had that. No, I did NOT buy it for myself OR ask for it. Amusing, though. And my monogrammed flask is also in that sock drawer shoebox. And a Leatherman! And, oh, look! It's my contact lenses...that expired in April of 1998. I actually got these in August of 1994. Yes. I know. The eye doctor put contacts in my eyes...I kept them in till they fell out a few days later. Being optimistic, he'd given me this 2nd pack...and I still have it...unopened. Because I never wore contacts again. I could NOT for the fucking life of me put my fingers in my eye to reapply the INITIAL contacts. I tried for days. Tears would immediately start cascading down my face. My face was soaked. How DO you people do it? Fuck that. Glasses will do. Oh, the wondrous magic of my sock drawer...