Miserable
Sums up how I feel.
Now that's what I WAS merely gonna write as of like 2pm. But guess what? HOURS of being alone, in relative peace, and being kinda productive has gotten me in a better mood. Though that's relative. After paying a bill in person, I went to the 'rents...who'd just left for the family bbq I had no interest in attending in the mood I was in. This immensely bothered dad. You'd think I was skipping Christmas dinner, the way he acted. I'll admit there's a perverse joy in making him (and mom?) feel bad that I didn't wanna go...but I didn't avoid the bbq out of spite. I avoided it because I honestly was in...HAVE been in...the most prolonged horseshit fucking mood i've experienced in ages. I'm irritated, angry, ungodly impatient, borderline depressed...more anger than depression, though. And I was in no mood to fake it for the relatives...or worse, endure the usual "what's new?" bullshit. So fuck it. It's not JUST the parents' asinine comments that have pissed me off. And when the fuck is this weekend over with already? Jesus fucking Christ, I can't believe it's STILL not the 4th...haven't we been experiencing "4th of July weekend" for like a week now? Anyway, I absolutely made the right choice. The rents' street was remarkably quiet, and I had HOURS of peace. Totally necessary. I did laundry, printed out resumes, other odds and ends...then went to Pathmark, ShopRite AND Kmart before getting home about 9pm. OH...can't forget my trip to McDonald's for a free vanilla iced coffee...mmmm. And now i'm exhausted from all the running around...and the heat...and yet another night of little sleep due to hammering Mexicans. I was behind someone from high school at McDonald's...I carefully made sure to avoid eye contact so she wouldn't recognize me, even though I looked worlds better than she did. I'm horrible...she was actually a very nice girl. Looks the same...but...eh, i'm not even in the mood to insult a nice girl. I'm sure I'll be back to form in a day or two. Can I possibly pray that today was the nadir of my summer? And that i'm starting the slow climb up from now on? I ain't overly optimistic...but yet hopeful.
Now that's what I WAS merely gonna write as of like 2pm. But guess what? HOURS of being alone, in relative peace, and being kinda productive has gotten me in a better mood. Though that's relative. After paying a bill in person, I went to the 'rents...who'd just left for the family bbq I had no interest in attending in the mood I was in. This immensely bothered dad. You'd think I was skipping Christmas dinner, the way he acted. I'll admit there's a perverse joy in making him (and mom?) feel bad that I didn't wanna go...but I didn't avoid the bbq out of spite. I avoided it because I honestly was in...HAVE been in...the most prolonged horseshit fucking mood i've experienced in ages. I'm irritated, angry, ungodly impatient, borderline depressed...more anger than depression, though. And I was in no mood to fake it for the relatives...or worse, endure the usual "what's new?" bullshit. So fuck it. It's not JUST the parents' asinine comments that have pissed me off. And when the fuck is this weekend over with already? Jesus fucking Christ, I can't believe it's STILL not the 4th...haven't we been experiencing "4th of July weekend" for like a week now? Anyway, I absolutely made the right choice. The rents' street was remarkably quiet, and I had HOURS of peace. Totally necessary. I did laundry, printed out resumes, other odds and ends...then went to Pathmark, ShopRite AND Kmart before getting home about 9pm. OH...can't forget my trip to McDonald's for a free vanilla iced coffee...mmmm. And now i'm exhausted from all the running around...and the heat...and yet another night of little sleep due to hammering Mexicans. I was behind someone from high school at McDonald's...I carefully made sure to avoid eye contact so she wouldn't recognize me, even though I looked worlds better than she did. I'm horrible...she was actually a very nice girl. Looks the same...but...eh, i'm not even in the mood to insult a nice girl. I'm sure I'll be back to form in a day or two. Can I possibly pray that today was the nadir of my summer? And that i'm starting the slow climb up from now on? I ain't overly optimistic...but yet hopeful.
posted by Gregoire at 9:24 PM
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