The international visitor brings international hair care products

There's been an air of exotic intrigue to my apartment since late last night, as Dipshit (would you believe me if I said I DO kinda feel bad always addressing him this way?) has flown in an international paramour! Well, from Toronto. About an hour outside of Toronto, to be exact. So, no, she's not from Geneva or even the African bush. Just outside Toronto. She seems lovely enough. If only I remembered her name for more than the minute after Dipshit introduced us. Didn't have much to say last night, but tonight she told me about her FIRST DAY EVER IN NYC (!!!) while Dipshit worked. She spoke of almost vomiting from being so high up in the Empire State Building, befriending a black gay hairdresser on the street, and having zero interest in seeing any Chinese people in Chinatown. She then made the fatal mistake of calling it GreenWHICH Village. I corrected her with a smile. OK, i'm coming off like a total fucking asshole snob. Maybe I am. I don't know a damn thing about Toronto...but Toronto ain't NYC. And doesn't everyone know Greenwich Village...or at least how to pronounce it? I'm likely just being a dick. Again, she seems like a perfectly lovely lass. Poor thing...she comes to visit NYC for the first time ever, and her ignorance is being documented by her lover's vicious roomie. She'll be gone...along with Dipshit...tomorrow evening, so it's not even like she's bothering me. Off to the shore they'll go. I think I actually dig her presence in the slightest way...in that "something new" way...knowing her intrusion into my space is ever-so-brief. And as I took a shit today, and my eyes wandered restlessly around the bathroom, searching for things to clean perhaps, I spied 2 new bottles on the floor outside the shower. As soon as I completed dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool, I fingered these bottles. Yes, I just like using the verb FINGERED. They were shampoo and conditioner called LIFE, made from some Toronto drug chain. And for a few seconds, I was in Toronto, too! Out of my miserable apartment in this miserable town and washing my hair for a night on the town in TORONTO! Il fait beau, ce soir! Yup, big things happen in my bathroom.