Mother of God, HOW can I cool off from this stifling heat, WCBS?!?!

My patience level for the media's hyping of the, um, so-called HEAT WAVE has reached its breaking point. You can substitute any of the local NYC stations for the CBS affiliate I mention in this blog title...although CBS was the only one who felt compelled to put a big ass HEAT ALERT graphic (in orange and red shades, of course) in the bottom left corner of the TV all day, complete with the current temperature. Just to remind us, I guess, that it's, well, hot out if we choose to step outside. No, if we DARE to step outside. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, it's 95 now!! In the middle of JULY?!?!?! It just...it just CAN'T BE!! Let's be clear about this crippling heat wave...it lasted all of 3 days, was relatively devoid of suffocating humidity, and NEVER even reached 100 degrees...either in NYC or Newark. In other words...NOTHING historic about it...a TYPICAL July day. And yet the team coverage continued. Sure, there were power problems...not only with buildings, but rail lines and even LaGuardia. But NOTHING that couldn't be reported calmly and with some sense of perspective. It wasn't the Blackout of '77 or '03 again. Swarms of citizens haven't been dying from the heat. The temperature hasn't soared past 100 for days on end. It was merely...hot. Yet we were told for the 394,287th time how to cool off and avoid dropping dead. "Click on the WCBS-TV website for a list of ways to keep cool." Um, if you're over the age of 5, and don't know how to quench your thirst with water, or to seek an air-conditioned building, or to wear light-colored, loose-fitting clothes in the heat...you're actually fucking retarded and should be put in a special needs home. Having said that, I AM amazed at the number of people who continue to jog in this heat, and say things on camera like, "I know my body and how far to push it." I can't help but KINDA wish they fall victim to heat stroke. Because they're JUST that dumb. And we have the eye-opening news stories on "what people are doing to cool off!" Let me guess...jumping in a crowded, urine-soaked city pool? Or going to the ocean? Or taking in a movie? I'll hazard a guess that they're NOT all gonna drink coffee on a patch of asphalt to cool themselves down. But my ultimate NEW favorite is the concept of COOLING CENTERS...otherwise known as BUILDINGS WITH AC. From what I can ascertain, these are the same senior citizen centers or recreation department buildings that have stood for years. But now they're collectively dubbed COOLING CENTERS so Joe Public knows he can come here to sit and stare at the wall for a few hours and cool himself. Then again, he may drop dead on the walk over. Now for true white trash, we still have things called STORES. Yes, go to a STORE. Because they're cool, you know? Walmart, K-Mart, a supermarket. Doesn't matter. Just go and lurk. Cool off. But don't tell anyone and ruin the big secret that these STORES exist. WCBS would surely let everyone know within minutes...probably in a scroll at the bottom of your TV screen, next to that giant HEAT ALERT icon.