April blossoms, as Gary wilts
Greetings to the cruelest month! Bring it on! Very exciting...events today have convinced me...i'm officially, sometime this summer, MOVING TO CALIFORNIA!! Yeeeeehaaaaahhhhh!! But more on that later. First, those "events." First off, for the 2nd time in 3 days, i'm running on less than 4 hours sleep...thus, the wilting of the title. Today I didn't nap, though...and that's on TOP of vigorous activity, namely moving furniture & running up and down several staircases while often uttering profanities or slipping away to put on the tea kettle yet again to dope me up on more caffeine. Younger bro moved again...this time to a rather large Victorian house in the verdant suburbs with tilting floors that make you feel like you're at sea. Said house is being renovated to include a built-in pool out back. Well, isn't that special. Rent? $1,400 split between my bro and his friend. Ample land, a driveway, a built-in pool, a spacious apt, in a fetching 130-year-old Victorian...for $700. Excuse me as I light myself on fire.
Ok, back from pulling a Richard Pryor. Fire reminds me of gas...and how I nearly ran out of it today as I drove bro's truck behind his moving van. Shortly after pulling out of the repair shop (where my bro's truck was, after being hit by a fire engine out of its jurisdiction simply to pick up lunch sandwiches, but that's HIS blog to write...), I noticed the gas was perilously near empty. Panic-stricken about running out of gas for a 2ND time in my life, I spent the next 2 miles frantically beeping, waving, and screaming at my brother in front of me...to no avail. Naturally, the ONE time you WANT a red light, you don't get one. Finally, I got one...and ran out of the truck like a freak to alert him I needed gas. His reply? I was overreacting...but we got the gas. No respect.
Back at the repair shop, I had about 15 minutes to stare out the window and daydream alone. During this time, I spied a guy with a thick wallet in the back pocket of his jeans and decided then and there I'd write about this tonight. Yet ANOTHER absurd issue that drives me up a wall...because I feel like i'm 2% of the population of men who puts his wallet in the FRONT pant pocket. So, like, isn't it OBVIOUS to millions of men that 1) it's bulky and awkward to sit on one's wallet and 2) you're putting yourself at OBSCENE greater risk of being pickpocketed this way?!?! Yet I'M the one who's mocked for having a George Costanza wallet in the FRONT of my person. Well, fuck everyone. You're all wrong yet again. WAAAAHHHHHH, SOME BASTARD STOLE MY WALLET, you'll all cry. Well, do the SMART thing -- as I do -- and you won't be WAAHHHHHHHing. I can't even FATHOM walking freely through crowds with my wallet unprotected in my back pocket. What is WRONG with everyone?!
I'm so tired and out of it that until about 6:30pm I thought we were springing BACK tonight at 2am. I was ecstatic all day long about my extra hour of sleep to be had. **OH, MY GOD...Peter Cetera's GLORY OF LOVE video on VH1 Classic now! "I am a MAN who will FIGHT for your honor!" WOW. Another 1986 beaut! And can we all give a rousing round of applause to Mr. Cetera for his many soothing hits of the 80s and early 90s. Props to Morita and Macchio, too. Lord, now here's Wilson Phillips strutting down Venice Beach singing HOLD ON. CA again calling to me...in the form of Carnie Wilson (whom i've met) in a form-fitting black number. Oh, but, yeah...so we're SPRINGing AHEAD at 2am tonight, that annual sign of summer inching ever closer. YAY! It indeed felt summery today...humid and pushing 70 by 10am! Perfect!
It's approaching that time when I pace the apartment, seeking out all clocks to thrust them forward...always emotional, losing an hour of time with one giant thrust and all. But especially this year...my LAST in this apartment! Indeed, I'm heading west...as a young man. Ok, i'm too tired for this...APRIL FOOL'S! HAHAHA, any gullible fuckers reading this! Just kidding! Or AM I? That's the funny thing. I came to no earth-shattering decision today on ANYthing, yet I WOULD like this to be the last April I spend in this fucking place...and I WILL perhaps still move to CA. My brother moving was yet another catalyst for change in my own life. So, who knows. Wink, nudge.
It's ironic that despite my RAH-RAH attitude about 2006's "second quarter," the first day of it saw me doing NOTHING personally productive. This blog entry is IT. Pondering and a blog entry. Otherwise, I helped my brother for hours, then came home -- to the shock of an empty apt -- and have done NOTHING since 4:30pm except sit online, watch TV, and eat. Didn't even make my bed today! Thank GOD Dipshit is away. JUST what I needed...silence!! And now I will finally start the slow crawl toward bed...after watching TV by candlelight and thrusting those clocks.
Ok, back from pulling a Richard Pryor. Fire reminds me of gas...and how I nearly ran out of it today as I drove bro's truck behind his moving van. Shortly after pulling out of the repair shop (where my bro's truck was, after being hit by a fire engine out of its jurisdiction simply to pick up lunch sandwiches, but that's HIS blog to write...), I noticed the gas was perilously near empty. Panic-stricken about running out of gas for a 2ND time in my life, I spent the next 2 miles frantically beeping, waving, and screaming at my brother in front of me...to no avail. Naturally, the ONE time you WANT a red light, you don't get one. Finally, I got one...and ran out of the truck like a freak to alert him I needed gas. His reply? I was overreacting...but we got the gas. No respect.
Back at the repair shop, I had about 15 minutes to stare out the window and daydream alone. During this time, I spied a guy with a thick wallet in the back pocket of his jeans and decided then and there I'd write about this tonight. Yet ANOTHER absurd issue that drives me up a wall...because I feel like i'm 2% of the population of men who puts his wallet in the FRONT pant pocket. So, like, isn't it OBVIOUS to millions of men that 1) it's bulky and awkward to sit on one's wallet and 2) you're putting yourself at OBSCENE greater risk of being pickpocketed this way?!?! Yet I'M the one who's mocked for having a George Costanza wallet in the FRONT of my person. Well, fuck everyone. You're all wrong yet again. WAAAAHHHHHH, SOME BASTARD STOLE MY WALLET, you'll all cry. Well, do the SMART thing -- as I do -- and you won't be WAAHHHHHHHing. I can't even FATHOM walking freely through crowds with my wallet unprotected in my back pocket. What is WRONG with everyone?!
I'm so tired and out of it that until about 6:30pm I thought we were springing BACK tonight at 2am. I was ecstatic all day long about my extra hour of sleep to be had. **OH, MY GOD...Peter Cetera's GLORY OF LOVE video on VH1 Classic now! "I am a MAN who will FIGHT for your honor!" WOW. Another 1986 beaut! And can we all give a rousing round of applause to Mr. Cetera for his many soothing hits of the 80s and early 90s. Props to Morita and Macchio, too. Lord, now here's Wilson Phillips strutting down Venice Beach singing HOLD ON. CA again calling to me...in the form of Carnie Wilson (whom i've met) in a form-fitting black number. Oh, but, yeah...so we're SPRINGing AHEAD at 2am tonight, that annual sign of summer inching ever closer. YAY! It indeed felt summery today...humid and pushing 70 by 10am! Perfect!
It's approaching that time when I pace the apartment, seeking out all clocks to thrust them forward...always emotional, losing an hour of time with one giant thrust and all. But especially this year...my LAST in this apartment! Indeed, I'm heading west...as a young man. Ok, i'm too tired for this...APRIL FOOL'S! HAHAHA, any gullible fuckers reading this! Just kidding! Or AM I? That's the funny thing. I came to no earth-shattering decision today on ANYthing, yet I WOULD like this to be the last April I spend in this fucking place...and I WILL perhaps still move to CA. My brother moving was yet another catalyst for change in my own life. So, who knows. Wink, nudge.
It's ironic that despite my RAH-RAH attitude about 2006's "second quarter," the first day of it saw me doing NOTHING personally productive. This blog entry is IT. Pondering and a blog entry. Otherwise, I helped my brother for hours, then came home -- to the shock of an empty apt -- and have done NOTHING since 4:30pm except sit online, watch TV, and eat. Didn't even make my bed today! Thank GOD Dipshit is away. JUST what I needed...silence!! And now I will finally start the slow crawl toward bed...after watching TV by candlelight and thrusting those clocks.
posted by Gregoire at 9:24 PM
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