Paul Kocin, Winter Weather Expert

3:09pm. I'm giddy with glee over the reappearance of Paul Kocin on The Weather Channel for our Big Blizzard. And don't we often have one in the middle of February?! Why, yes, yes we do. It IS our snowiest month, you know. But I digress. Paul just appeared, and his tone was deliciously dire as he noted the storm "really coming together now," while pointing to an exploding radar full of JUICY, coalescing precipitation, PUMPED into play by explosive Gulf and Atlantic MOISTURE. MMMMMMMMMM, Gary fucking LOVES it!! Paul's presence always means BIG TROUBLE. Mr. Kocin will be my special friend throughout this event. A warm, comforting guide. His voice gravelly, yet mellifluous, much like Bea Arthur's. Swing by the house for an impression...of Paul, not Bea. Though you can join me for double viewings of THE GOLDEN GIRLS on Lifetime, Monday through Thursday from midnight to 1am. If Letterman's a repeat, that is. If you're a Leno watcher, I'm not sure I wanna know you. But back to Paul. OHHHHH, I love him. He'll be pulling a double shift, i'm sure. As for me, i've noted the clouds lowering and thickening in the mere 20 minutes I've been writing this. The faint sun has disappeared. The Metro Channel's traffic cameras show the snow has advanced as far north as Sayreville. Yes (said in a tone much like that agitatingly Desperate Mary Alice), the hour is near. Soon, ...OMG...FUCK SOON...3:28PM...IT HAS BEGUN TO SNOW!! The Evil is upon us!!