My name is Gary, not "And Family"
I'm getting more than a little annoyed with people (that is, relatives) who send MY invites to my parents' house...with my name suddenly AND FAMILY. Tagged onto mommy and daddy. Um, excuse me, i'm not fifteen. And I haven't LIVED with my parents in more than a decade. So WHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, haven't you taken notice of these pertinent facts in all that time? As soon as you move out, you should start getting your own invites. And, by the way, there's certain friends, too, who inexplicably still mail things to my parents' house. At least they use my NAME, though.
Now I have NO doubt that if I marched down the aisle this coming weekend and moved to a tidy suburban Colonial with the lucky and proud bride, THEN you'd somehow start exercising proper etiquette. Am I not a Real Grown-Up unless i'm married? Am I not worthy of opening my own envelope for your precious spawn's Baptism? How about I say fuck the baby's officially becoming a child of God and spend my Sunday at the beach? That's where i'd rather be, certainly. And I wouldn't have to waste my money on yet another motherfucking savings bond, not to mention a criminally overpriced card that will likely be tossed into the trash as soon as they've tallied who gave what for the thank you cards...which will ALSO come in a "thank you, EVERYONE" combo deal!! UGH.
But I'm a Good Guy and dutifully go to the endless family affairs, making sure I eat and drink as much as humanly possible -- and as close to the price of the gift as possible -- within a 4-hour time period. Now can you return the favor and just respect my (long ago) passage into adulthood enough to figure out my mailing address? And THIS is why I hesitate to let too many in my life know about this blog...everyone would hate me. Even though i'm absolutely right.
Now I have NO doubt that if I marched down the aisle this coming weekend and moved to a tidy suburban Colonial with the lucky and proud bride, THEN you'd somehow start exercising proper etiquette. Am I not a Real Grown-Up unless i'm married? Am I not worthy of opening my own envelope for your precious spawn's Baptism? How about I say fuck the baby's officially becoming a child of God and spend my Sunday at the beach? That's where i'd rather be, certainly. And I wouldn't have to waste my money on yet another motherfucking savings bond, not to mention a criminally overpriced card that will likely be tossed into the trash as soon as they've tallied who gave what for the thank you cards...which will ALSO come in a "thank you, EVERYONE" combo deal!! UGH.
But I'm a Good Guy and dutifully go to the endless family affairs, making sure I eat and drink as much as humanly possible -- and as close to the price of the gift as possible -- within a 4-hour time period. Now can you return the favor and just respect my (long ago) passage into adulthood enough to figure out my mailing address? And THIS is why I hesitate to let too many in my life know about this blog...everyone would hate me. Even though i'm absolutely right.
posted by Gregoire at 8:13 PM
2 Comments:
How about the new "trend" of inviting husbands to baby showers? Why do men have to go to these? My summer weekends are filling up b/c I'm suppossed to be a loyal partner and drive all over creation to sit in a room full of people I hardly know (or want to know). We are not talking family here, either. This is not a male activity! Any thoughts?
-You know who.
this doesn't happen to me -- my family apparently appreciates the fact that I am a sentient human despite the lack of a hubby and a mcmansion -- but it happens to others I know, people who live full, independent lives in DIFFERENT states than their parents and are still invited to family events via mom and dad. It's such a backward, ignoramus practice.
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