My life is absurd...TOTALLY absurd

Nothing happened today to really warrant the title of today's entry, but it just occurred to me that I'd like to just put that out there...that my life IS absurd...AND that i'm fully aware of it. You have NO idea how absurd. It's not something that happened overnight...nor will it be fixed as quickly. But I AM on my way...have been all year, as i've said before. No need for specifics. Just trust daddy that the things you wouldn't think twice about having or doing...most likely, I don't HAVE them, and thus, can't DO them. It's just funny -- how I got "here," how I sail through each day, how NONE of it really makes sense...and certainly how I keep my sanity and good humor, not to brag. I do not know another living soul like me. WHAT the FUCK?!?! Funny, too, the things I consider HUGE milestones in my "recovery." It's all just so fucking bizarre. I'm speaking vaguely, which is no fun, so i'll stop dissecting my complicated psyche. This day has been BLAH. Yes, a couple things transpired to ignite my psychobabble. Good things, mind you...but things that would not even be of remote paramount importance to 95% of my peers, but to me were life and death. Insanity. I've been SOOOOOO tired all day, though. Did NOT sleep well...I'll go to bed soon (2:30ish) to make up for last night. So i've just had no energy all day. Yet I got some quality shit done...mainly stuff I can do online in a foggy, sleep-deprived haze...like order Amtrak materials to the house for full perusal. CHOO-CHOO!! And some yoga, stretching...whatever the fuck you wanna call it. A lot of that. I highly recommend it...rejuvenates!! And my late night walk just before. Isn't this a riveting recount? David Blaine's latest stunt aired tonight...but the poor bastard didn't break the record for holding one's breath. Awww. I was rather exhausted switching between him, "24," and the Nets blowing away Miami. I went to see Blaine in '99 for his first big stunt of laying in a glass coffin for days. Then I saw him encased in ice in Times Square. Then the truly magical happened when I saw him with a bunch of his obnoxious friends on 34th Street. Enough of him. His stoner/zen/"humble" delivery wears on my nerves. **Totally randomly...i'm SO fucking sick of everyone loving GREY'S ANATOMY. I could NOT care less about it. Which nicely segues into the fact that I taped HOUSEWIVES last night...I haven't watched it in months...and I see it's just as empty as ever. Same fake set, same stupid music, same cartoon characters. I've found it overhyped from day one. It's watchable, sure...but in a completely passive way. NOTHING i'd run home for. But I'm too tired to again go off on my fellow Americans. Time to prep for what BEST be a sound, restorative sleep. Thank you, Lord, for this day.