What the fuck's with everyone out front at 1am?
I go to bring the garbage out at 1am...and also enjoy the closest thing yet to a summery evening. It's VERY humid and still in the high 60s. So it'd be a nice night to have my first late night walk/porch sitting in quite a long time. The SECOND I step outside, some blonde bitch 2 doors down also begins descending her steps. ?!?! I walk west, she walks east, neither of us acknowleding the other...though it must be said I walked in the street so as to avoid an awkward/tense "do I say hello?!" situation where we were RIGHT next to each other on the 1am sidewalk. OK, good...peace and solitude, which is what I expect when I walk outside at 1am...
Until I get to the corner and see the grunting jogger I've spoken about struggling down the cross street, along with a solo man walking...also in my direction. UGH. So I go the OTHER way. I'm now heading north. My trajectory is like a fucking video game -- Pacman, if you will -- me looking to avoid humans yet KEEP moving. I then spy 2 men and a dog about 2 blocks ahead of me...but they're mercifully moving in the same direction as I am, so my solitude remains. But then I head east again -- I'm basically leisurely walking around the corner. When I get to the cross street and turn south toward my street again, I'm chagrined to suddenly hear motherfucking high heels. It's the SAME blonde!!!! She must've walked to her car or something. UGHHHHHHHHH!!
So NOW she's high heeling it fast on my ass and i'm TOTALLY non-fucking-relaxed. I was so bloody pissed. I can't let her pass me and risk another awkward moment, so now i'm forced to hustle back to my house. And then i'm thinking that SHE'S thinking I'M weird for simply walking around the corner for no reason at 1am. No dog with me. No cigarette. Ahhh, but I DID bring my favorite social prop...the cellphone. I pretended to be texting someone...and continued doing so as I reached my porch and sat down...on the top step, so as to be as far from her on the sidewalk as possible. I was NOT going inside before I wanted to. And she went inside. FINALLY! SILENCE!
Well, it would have been if I didn't suddenly hear a door opening to my LEFT. I jerk my head to see a young man coming out 2 doors down. Note that Blondie was 2 houses to my RIGHT. From both sides, they're getting me. WHY, JESUS, WHY?! So again i'm tense, waiting for HIM to finish getting something from his car. AT 1 FUCKING AM!! I'M supposed to be the only one traipsing around at this hour on a weeknight!! It's my ALONE TIME!! He was quick, though, and I WAS soon alone. But by that time, I was ready to go inside myself. Sigh. And that's tonight's ridiculously long anecdote about not a whole hell of a lot.
Until I get to the corner and see the grunting jogger I've spoken about struggling down the cross street, along with a solo man walking...also in my direction. UGH. So I go the OTHER way. I'm now heading north. My trajectory is like a fucking video game -- Pacman, if you will -- me looking to avoid humans yet KEEP moving. I then spy 2 men and a dog about 2 blocks ahead of me...but they're mercifully moving in the same direction as I am, so my solitude remains. But then I head east again -- I'm basically leisurely walking around the corner. When I get to the cross street and turn south toward my street again, I'm chagrined to suddenly hear motherfucking high heels. It's the SAME blonde!!!! She must've walked to her car or something. UGHHHHHHHHH!!
So NOW she's high heeling it fast on my ass and i'm TOTALLY non-fucking-relaxed. I was so bloody pissed. I can't let her pass me and risk another awkward moment, so now i'm forced to hustle back to my house. And then i'm thinking that SHE'S thinking I'M weird for simply walking around the corner for no reason at 1am. No dog with me. No cigarette. Ahhh, but I DID bring my favorite social prop...the cellphone. I pretended to be texting someone...and continued doing so as I reached my porch and sat down...on the top step, so as to be as far from her on the sidewalk as possible. I was NOT going inside before I wanted to. And she went inside. FINALLY! SILENCE!
Well, it would have been if I didn't suddenly hear a door opening to my LEFT. I jerk my head to see a young man coming out 2 doors down. Note that Blondie was 2 houses to my RIGHT. From both sides, they're getting me. WHY, JESUS, WHY?! So again i'm tense, waiting for HIM to finish getting something from his car. AT 1 FUCKING AM!! I'M supposed to be the only one traipsing around at this hour on a weeknight!! It's my ALONE TIME!! He was quick, though, and I WAS soon alone. But by that time, I was ready to go inside myself. Sigh. And that's tonight's ridiculously long anecdote about not a whole hell of a lot.
posted by Gregoire at 11:01 PM
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