Dipshit's ASS PARTICLES
**Perhaps my most disgusting post yet, so proceed with caution, but I simply MUST vent my rage**
Dipshit shits often. And after he does, and the smell of air freshener mingled with his anal waste permeates my fucking apartment, I'll soon enough find myself needing to piss. La-di-dah, Gary walks into the bathroom...and the seat's still down. This is the first offense -- if you're just living with guys, put the MOTHERFUCKING SEAT UP after you've shit so I don't need to 1) waste MY time doing so, 2) TOUCH something your ass just sat upon. But this isn't even the point. ON the seat, for as long as I can recall while Dipshit's lived with me, is...well, i'm not even sure. It's usually toward the back of the seat, and it's...i'm struggling to come up with a way to explain it...kinda like fine, white particles...from the toilet paper?...as if he dunked his ass in a tub of water and then gently rolled his ass over a layer of powdered sugar (yes! powdered sugar!) and then sat back ON the seat...leaving this "stuff" on the seat for me to deal with. Wait, I left out the ASS HAIR part of this. I mean, that MUST be the problem here, right? His ASS HAIR acts like a suction...like one of those Pledge Dust Cloths...for whatever the fuck these particles are...which are then left on my toilet seat. So this is how it USUALLY is...which is beyond appalling enough -- not to mention wildly perplexing. But the other day, for the first time...SHITBALLS. Super, tiny SHITBALLS were left on the seat. Like the size of, hmm, 3 or 4 grains of salt maybe? DEFINITELY shitballs, though. Kids, I don't make any of this -- pardon the pun -- shit up. I defend EVERY tiny morsel of my rage in life. And so, I mean, don't grown men and women...after they've SHIT...look down at both the seat AND in the bowl to make sure they've left NOTHING BEHIND? Don't reasonable, smart, civilized, non-retarded adults do this? HOW do you take a shit...and leave shards of feces ON the fucking bowl? HOW? FUCKING HOW??! I BEG OF ANYONE TO TELL ME. THIS is yet another small example of the FLAGRANT STUPIDITY I am forced to endure on a daily basis.
Dipshit shits often. And after he does, and the smell of air freshener mingled with his anal waste permeates my fucking apartment, I'll soon enough find myself needing to piss. La-di-dah, Gary walks into the bathroom...and the seat's still down. This is the first offense -- if you're just living with guys, put the MOTHERFUCKING SEAT UP after you've shit so I don't need to 1) waste MY time doing so, 2) TOUCH something your ass just sat upon. But this isn't even the point. ON the seat, for as long as I can recall while Dipshit's lived with me, is...well, i'm not even sure. It's usually toward the back of the seat, and it's...i'm struggling to come up with a way to explain it...kinda like fine, white particles...from the toilet paper?...as if he dunked his ass in a tub of water and then gently rolled his ass over a layer of powdered sugar (yes! powdered sugar!) and then sat back ON the seat...leaving this "stuff" on the seat for me to deal with. Wait, I left out the ASS HAIR part of this. I mean, that MUST be the problem here, right? His ASS HAIR acts like a suction...like one of those Pledge Dust Cloths...for whatever the fuck these particles are...which are then left on my toilet seat. So this is how it USUALLY is...which is beyond appalling enough -- not to mention wildly perplexing. But the other day, for the first time...SHITBALLS. Super, tiny SHITBALLS were left on the seat. Like the size of, hmm, 3 or 4 grains of salt maybe? DEFINITELY shitballs, though. Kids, I don't make any of this -- pardon the pun -- shit up. I defend EVERY tiny morsel of my rage in life. And so, I mean, don't grown men and women...after they've SHIT...look down at both the seat AND in the bowl to make sure they've left NOTHING BEHIND? Don't reasonable, smart, civilized, non-retarded adults do this? HOW do you take a shit...and leave shards of feces ON the fucking bowl? HOW? FUCKING HOW??! I BEG OF ANYONE TO TELL ME. THIS is yet another small example of the FLAGRANT STUPIDITY I am forced to endure on a daily basis.
posted by Gregoire at 11:59 AM
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