Fucking ARMY commercials

It's 4am on a delightfully breezy, balmy Sunday night. It'll say I wrote this on Monday, but anything after 3am eastern time is noted as the next day. Anyway, these fucking Army commercials are grating on my last nerve. They're so fucking queer. Queer is the first word that comes to mind. They remind me of the way I felt about anything military as a kid...fucking queer. All that ATTENTION!...YES, SIR, YES, SIR!!, WE'LL MAKE YOU A REAL MAN bullshit. Shut the fuck up! I don't need to wake at fucking dawn, crawl through the dirt, stand ramrod straight, scream YES, SIR, I AM A FUCKING PUSSY, SIR! at my sergeant's face, and go risk my life fighting questionable wars to be a real man. But this is too big a subject to tackle fully at 4am when I'm desperate to just sit and watch THREE'S COMPANY while shoving poundcake down my throat. Let me quickly be clear about a couple things...1) my own father was in the Army, and I certainly respect anyone who's risking their life for my freedom; 2) this isn't a tirade against the current "war," whatever that exactly is. Again, this is too big to get into, but let's just say I've got mixed feelings on our current war efforts. This is merely about the QUEER COMMERCIALS where one kid tells his dad over and over "it's the Army" in response to his dad's wondering if it's the right thing to do, and another kid tells his mom "it's time to be man." And join the Army, of course. It's just all so goddamn dramatic, what i'd call a "Cosby Show" scenario. "Cosby Show Scenario" is my way of describing any kind of eye-rolling "we have to have a serious talk" situation. I can't for the life of me imagine EVER saying to my parents, unsarcastically, devoid of humor, "It's time to be a man." WHO the fuck says that in a real life conversation?! And do women stand up defiantly and announce to their loved ones, "I need to be a woman now!" before running off to Fort Dix? So this rant is against both the Army recruitment program and all advertising, which increasingly drives me up a wall. It's all such bullshit.