"Yeah, hi, I'd like a Bally's Recovery Shake, please."

"Because I need to RECOVER after my workout, and i'm sure the only thing that will keep me from passing out within 2 minutes is the $3.75 pretentious concoction dubbed a RECOVERY SHAKE. Certainly, the endorphins released from lifting weights for 2 hours while continually drinking water won't keep me upright. My, this is a lovely little racket you have going here, but then again, rackets make a GREAT profit from fools who have no concept of the value of a dollar, and in this case, also don't grasp that they're probably ironically piling on a ton of calories onto the fat asses that they just stairmastered to exhaustion for an hour. And I can't go home and make myself a sensible post-workout meal. NO, I MUST have a Bally's Recovery Shake! Oh, wow, it's made already...thanks...here's my hard-earned $3.75 that I could buy almost 4 Swanson frozen dinners with at ShopRite this week, but I'd rather blow it on this. Maybe I'll see you again tomorrow to buy a Performance Enhancing Shake, with some special "energy" add-ins. Have a great day!"