There are a LOT of people who should be very, VERY grateful for my discretion AND, yes, PATIENCE

Insanity. Insane lives. I kid not. I exaggerate not. No lessons learned. No evolving. No learning from the past. It's sad, really. My veneer cracks more daily. I'm out of patience. People think i'm IMpatient? I'm Mother Fucking Teresa. I'm tired of keeping my mouth shut. Tired of smiling politely. Tired of enduring madness. Tired of so many things, so many people. I more and more get why people cut ties. Leave. Flee. And it's too often the SANE who get the bum rap. They're "causing trouble." Being difficult. Telling tales out of school. Betraying confidences. No, they're breaking the cycle.

I'm a therapist's dream...yet not. It's THE OTHERS AROUND ME who are the insane/obnoxious/rude/angry/inconsiderate ones. Seriously. Honest. Yeah, they all say that, but in my case, it's true. I'm sure of it. I KNOW it. I've always known it. It's infuriating and a lonely place to be. And you wonder WHY ME? It'd be SO much easier being one of the fucked up, thoughtless ones. SOMEHOW I've kept my head on straight. I'm exceedingly self-aware. But there's Public and Private. Often night and day. And no one in Public knows the truth.

I know the truth. And I have 30-something diaries that tell it. If I drop dead tomorrow, there's some people who should worry...and get to those diaries first. But, oh, wait...there's also my online hijinks, too, now. MUCH more difficult to silence.