Um, who the FUCK doesn't lock their house doors?

So Tenafly, NJ had a gruesome triple murder discovery tonight. Everyone dead like a week, stabbed multiple times. Lovely. Just lovely. And then we naturally have the neighbors interviewed. "Shocking...just shocking...this doesn't happen here." And then this: "We don't even lock our front doors." Whoa, back up, what? I'm sorry, it's all very ideal and Andy Griffith Show and all, but you are a FUCKING FOOL if you don't lock your house up. I feel -- yet again -- like i've blogged on this before. Where the fuck is my blogging assistant to keep track?

We leave the doors open in my parents' house sometimes...during the day...when we're all home...and we don't live in Compton. At night and when no one's home, the doors are LOCKED. And chained, too. I can't even fathom this unlocked thing. Who ARE you people?!? I wouldn't be able to sleep. Did you all grow up in St. Olaf?! I have cousins who used to live near the shore around Toms River...THEY always kept their doors unlocked. Nuts. Though it was nice to know their door really WAS always open to me.