Dipshit's endlessly irritating interaction with the toilet

It's been a while since I've ripped into him, huh? This complaint isn't a big one in the grand scheme of things...more mild annoyance. OK, more than mild. It's amazing how I KEEP coming up with new ways he pisses me off. Simply put, he keeps leaving the toilet seat DOWN. He'll take a shit...and not put it back up. And he's OFTEN shitting, i'll have you know. I'M very regular, but he's quite a competitor in the shitting department. I've surely mentioned before how he also doesn't grasp the concept of turning on the bathroom vent to both air things out AND muffle the sounds of his urgent huffing and puffing as he drops the kids off in the pool? Many a meal has been ruined by the putrid smells and unsettling sounds wafting down the hall into the kitchen.

Even more perplexing (and seemingly a new habit), in the morning before he goes to work, he'll even put the LID down. What the FUCK is he doing that warrants the LID being down? Putting his shoes on? Eating his breakfast in there? WHAT?! All I know is that I'm fucking tired of wasting precious seconds of my life putting the seat up before I unleash my pent-up urine. He's a fucking MAN. If you're a MAN and you either live alone or only with OTHER men, isn't the NORMAL position of the toilet seat UP?! Aren't men KNOWN to keep the toilet seat UP?! Don't you put the seat back UP after you shit, understanding that you're a MAN and more often than not come to the toilet to STAND there and piss? Well, not in MY fucking house anymore. Jesus fucking Christ, there is NO end to his aggravation. Jesus, I beg of you to take Dipshit's wheel and steer him out of my life!!