And now a Special Message to the Foreign Immigrants of Union City, NJ (or their interpreters)...

In this beautiful country of America, we have things called TRAFFIC LIGHTS. The actual lights are red, yellow, and green, and usually swing above the street, attached to big, long poles. They usually exist so pedestrians and automobiles know when to advance with the least likelihood of injury or death. Now what you need to do when you come to a street corner with a light is 1) look up, 2) see what color it is, and 3) react accordingly. Red means DON'T GO, yellow means FUCKING HUSTLE, and green means YOU'RE FREE TO SHUFFLE ACROSS AT YOUR GLACIALLY-PACED LEISURE. It's really a very, very simple process. What you DON'T want to do is what just happened to ME on my painfully-misguided Sunday afternoon trip to ShopRite. There were THREE of you walking slow as can be, stepping off the curb AS the light was yellow. Before you even BEGAN to cross in front of my car, the light was RED. And did I mention you were shuffling barely faster than a 90-year-old with one leg? I even gave you assholes a couple seconds to connect the dots that you were holding up an entire intersection before I hit my horn...which, naturally, didn't remotely translate into a quickened pace. You merely stared at me like I was the asshole. With every millisecond I sat there, I was closer to a heart attack. And YOU were closer to me gunning the gas and plowing your motherfucking asses into pieces. But it was yet another instance where Gary chose seething anger over imprisonment. But you're pushing your fucking luck, Nervy and/or Stupid Assholes of the World. As it stands, I already frequently wish for OTHERS you cause grief to snap and harm you -- not death, i'm not THAT evil, but severe pain and hardship would be nice. A Good Lesson, if you will. I have too much to do in this life, so I need others to snap for me. Hey, if lights mean nothing, by all means, take them down...make it a free-for-all! I'm all for that! But while they're up, FUCKING OBEY THEM! So I hope my gently-worded Street Crossing Lesson falls upon the ears of SOME of you law flouting local immigrants who make my simple local car trips an ulcer-inducing living hell.