A salute to dumb cashiers across this great land!
This is one of those blogs where you'll go, "did he REALLY just waste his time AND ours on THAT?" But it's about FREE MONEY (!!!), so yes, I will. I got this $100 AmEx gift card back in September...and somehow took until January 4th to use it up, despite having about 2,387 things I could have spent it on. I vividly recall where I used the last of it up...ShopRite Liquors, getting a case of beer for my grab bag gift for the last of my endless Xmas parties...yes, in January. Most amusing/scary is that I still have the receipt, as I painstakingly note most of my monetary purchases, and i'm way, way, WAY behind (for no good reason) inputting them into my "ledger."
SO...there's NO reason I should have made the 1-800 call to check my balance on the card...I KNOW I used it up, because i'm a detail-oriented nutcase. I shouldn't even have still HAD the card in my possession...most people would've tossed it in the trash the moment it was depleted of funds. But for 2 months, it sat in my wallet for no reason. Then I called to check the balance for "no reason." So imagine my stunned surprise when I was told I had $10.97 left. WHAT?! I called back and punched in each number VERY slowly to make sure. Yup, $10.97 left. I was giddy with delight. But HOW?!
Well, I also vividly recall the unbelievable STUPIDITY of the female cashier that night. This is where my rock solid memory AND still having the receipt aid the story. I had $12.97 left on my card. The case of Heineken Premium Light came to $14.97. I'd been so elated at the EVEN transaction this would be. Two dollars in cash would seal the deal. If ONLY it were so easy at the time. This stupid bitch -- who looked like she'd just stumbled out of an Ozarks outhouse -- could NOT handle this complicated matter. There was swiping of my card, followed by register malfunctions, then good old-fashioned adding and subtracting using a pen on paper...to figure out the $2.00 that I owed. The manager was soon called after the register wouldn't complete the deal. Everything was basically frozen. As I stood there, aching to flee, patience wearing thin, line backing up behind me.
So the receipt clears up how I wound up ahead here. The cashier rang up my $2 in cash as an AmEx purchase...leaving $10.97 left on the card. So I paid $2 for a case of beer, and Ozark Bitch was short $12.97 on her register that night (at least). Did you follow all that? I just HAD to write about this...it made my fucking day. And I still can't believe I even made the balance call or retained the card...there is ZERO reason for my having done so. This IS where I believe in Higher Powers...guiding me...urging me...with no basis in reason...toward the light. Or the green.
SO...there's NO reason I should have made the 1-800 call to check my balance on the card...I KNOW I used it up, because i'm a detail-oriented nutcase. I shouldn't even have still HAD the card in my possession...most people would've tossed it in the trash the moment it was depleted of funds. But for 2 months, it sat in my wallet for no reason. Then I called to check the balance for "no reason." So imagine my stunned surprise when I was told I had $10.97 left. WHAT?! I called back and punched in each number VERY slowly to make sure. Yup, $10.97 left. I was giddy with delight. But HOW?!
Well, I also vividly recall the unbelievable STUPIDITY of the female cashier that night. This is where my rock solid memory AND still having the receipt aid the story. I had $12.97 left on my card. The case of Heineken Premium Light came to $14.97. I'd been so elated at the EVEN transaction this would be. Two dollars in cash would seal the deal. If ONLY it were so easy at the time. This stupid bitch -- who looked like she'd just stumbled out of an Ozarks outhouse -- could NOT handle this complicated matter. There was swiping of my card, followed by register malfunctions, then good old-fashioned adding and subtracting using a pen on paper...to figure out the $2.00 that I owed. The manager was soon called after the register wouldn't complete the deal. Everything was basically frozen. As I stood there, aching to flee, patience wearing thin, line backing up behind me.
So the receipt clears up how I wound up ahead here. The cashier rang up my $2 in cash as an AmEx purchase...leaving $10.97 left on the card. So I paid $2 for a case of beer, and Ozark Bitch was short $12.97 on her register that night (at least). Did you follow all that? I just HAD to write about this...it made my fucking day. And I still can't believe I even made the balance call or retained the card...there is ZERO reason for my having done so. This IS where I believe in Higher Powers...guiding me...urging me...with no basis in reason...toward the light. Or the green.
posted by Gregoire at 1:35 PM
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