I think i'm an ASSHOLE

I think i'm a nice guy...but am I really an asshole? I mock everyone. I have no patience for anyone. I often yearn to be alone. I disagree with what 90% of my friends and family do and think, it seems. And by disagree, I mean I think they're idiots. Today, I saw a man fall on his bike into a muddy puddle in Hoboken. I mimicked THE SIMPSONS by going HA, HA! Mind you, I was in my car, not standing next to him doing nothing while he bled and convulsed. But as I K-turned and rode past him again, I felt horrible and apologized out loud to myself. And I just wondered, what the fuck is wrong with me? Listen, the guy wasn't remotely badly injured. He just skidded on the mud. But still. Why would I laugh at him falling? Also today, I noticed the downstairs tenant's car lights flashing...for 3 hours. I WANTED to go down and knock on his door and alert him to a potential battery-sapping car issue. Instead, I did nothing. "Didn't wanna get involved." Like an asshole. Last week, I finally snapped on the streets of Manhattan. On the corner of 42nd and 5th, I literally screamed out loud, "IDIOTS, MOVE! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" The crowd of dolts was just NOT moving fast enough for me when the light turned green. Surely, a mom from Iowa had to explain to her 10-year-old that ASSHOLES in New York use bad language at crosswalks. A month ago, when I saw my parents' 93-year-old neighbor fall on his ass...I didn't immediately rush to his aid. I wanted to see if he could get up on his own, so I waited, lurking in the doorway, as he frantically looked around in vain for another soul to help him up. THEN I played the hero. I just HATE getting involved. I'm ALWAYS concerned how I'LL look. I detest being analyzed. But, yeah, i'm kind of a dick. Yet not. I dunno. I should've gotten into this blog hours ago, not at 2:30am...I don't have the patience for a properly thought-out Asshole Theory. But i'm definitely one to some degree.