Splinter in my cock

A big part of me (no pun intended) is saying GARY, YOU CANNOT WRITE ABOUT THE SPLINTER YOU JUST FOUND IN THE LOWER LEFT SIDE OF YOUR DICKHEAD! Because that would be, I dunno, TOO graphic or personal to have everyone read. But for the moment, I just don't give a shit. I'm a man...I have a cock...and I just found a splinter in my cock. That is LIFE. I'm recording it. And that's pretty RARE, right? I mean, I've NEVER found one in my cock before. All morning long, i've detected the most vague stinging feeling down there. But when I investigated, sure i'd find my newest medical misery, I saw nothing. The answer, dear friends, came via PROPER LIGHTING. Yes, when you're looking for a splinter in your COCK, go to the room in the house with the most abundant NATURAL lighting. A sunroom is ideal. HOW the hell did this TINIEST sliver of WOOD (?) get in my dickhead? Could it be from the thorny flowers I was cutting yesterday at my New England retreat? Hmm. I certainly NEVER imagined the source of my Cock Stinging would be a SPLINTER! So watch yourselves, men! Your prick COULD get pricked! (Was that too obvious?)