A VERY geographically-specific rant: Passaic Ave/River Road, Kearny/NA/Lyndhurst, NJ

Not ONCE...ever...EVER am I on this MOTHERFUCKING stretch of road -- from Bergen Avenue to Route 3 -- and not behind an unspeakably infuriating, absolutely mystifyingly slow-moving CUNTRAG of a human being. Often enough, it's a cavalcade of dipshits. More often, though, it's ONE SOLITARY FUCKING MOPE in front of me for MY ENTIRE TRIP...noooooooooooo other cars in front of them for about 27 car lengths. I can say with authority that I think it is on this road that i've been closest to SNAPPING -- flooring the gas pedal and slamming into the car in front of me, DESPERATELY struggling to ram it off the road and into either a large tree or the Passaic River. I tailgate and high-beam these pricks with zero sympathy. I think the thing that grates most is that, sans dopey fuckwads, this is a fantastically long stretch of road without many stoplights. Getting between Points A & B should be lightning quick.

Surely people reading this think I have MAJOR issues. Well, yes, I DO...the ongoing idiocy of my fellow man, in this case fucking idiots who can't drive a fucking car at the proper speed. The speed limit (not that I buy speed limits, but one argument at a time) is 40mph on a hefty chunk of this road...and I frequently am behind people going 25mph. WHY, WHY, WHY?!?!??!?!?!?!?! WHY must I constantly be ENRAGED?!?! Driving a car is so BLOODY easy to do. Honest to fucking God, I should open a driving school. OK, now I feel better.