And suddenly, New Year's Eve WON'T be the most pathetic one yet...

I just endured a roller coaster ride of New Year's Eve emotions in terms of where I'd be at the stroke of midnight. I'm invited to a party...but the host is the only one i'd know, so I kinda ixnayed that...unless I found someone to go with me. But good luck with THAT one, Gary, as everyone I know is ensconced in the distant suburbs with their spouse and, more to the point, BAAAAAAAAYBE. Often, babIES. UGH. The point has been HAMMERED home like NEVER before...I have NO remotely local friends anymore. NONE. Zero. Nada. Ok, one, and I'll get to her...but still no MALE friends. I NEED NEW FRIENDS, STAT!! But I digress. **So I figured I'd sit pathetically with mom and dad, as dad fell asleep before midnight, and we'd bang some fucking pots and pans at midnight, and I'd dejectedly go home about 12:45am. Well, dad calls...THEY'RE going out, too!?! I call my brother...he's staying overnight at a friend's. Sigh. And so, for about 15 minutes, it appeared i'd be sitting in my apartment alone, a beer in one hand, a steak knife in the other, enduring THE most horrible New Year's EVER. **But then, my LONE local friend came through for me. I think i'm merely invited out of pity, but I'll get through that. Point is, off I'll go to a friend of her's on the Upper East Side. YAY!! It'll be the 7TH time I've rung in the new year in Manhattan...the 4th house, er, apartment party...a pretty impressive statistic, I think. **It rather annoys me how hyped New Year's is...how people frantically start planning for it a month in advance, DESPERATE not to be in the position I almost was...alone or sitting with the parents'. I'M only so obsessed with it because everyone ELSE is. Part of me wanted to be alone tonight just to prove a point...that it could be done without requiring counseling. But I think honestly, I AM someone who likes a party and wants to be with people on New Year's Eve. People I KNOW. Someone to hug, someone to kiss, someone to toast. I know the argument that it's just another day, but I feel like if I live to be 90, I'll wanna think back on New Year's Eves that were fun and involved other humans...not me alone with Dick Clark (who I PRAY has recovered from his stroke well enough to speak properly...yes, I'm going to hell). And yet, I DO Know people who SLEEP through it each year. And then there's the people on the highways...I always wonder about them. What are you doing ON THE TURNPIKE as the new year dawns? Who ARE these people? What IS that MADNESS?!?! **It's 2:50pm now...I actually slept rather well despite initially falling asleep on the couch. I feel refreshed, vital, RARING to go! A little more than 9 hours left of 2006...let the reflecting and goal-listing commence!