ORGAN DONOR? "Um, sure."

Funny how such a weighty decision is made, unplanned, in 2 seconds. And so even the trip to the (more efficient, thanks to Jim McGreevey!) DMV became an occasion for life-and-death melancholy today, as I sat there pondering being dismembered in a horrific car crash as hospital workers scanned my license to see if I was a thoughtful enough human to donate an organ. Sigh. The all-business Asian woman caught me off guard with this question. Sure, what the hell...sign me up. Who WOULDN'T want Gary in them? I can continue to give and inspire even after I'm gone. I wish Blogspot would allow me to insert a sardonic, wink-wink smiley face here. So, yeah, I have a new DIGITAL license...and after countless practice attempts to perfect a beaming smile in the mirror, I'm STILL not remotely satisfied with my pic. It's not horrible, and I AM smiling for the first time ever (previous pics were attempts at The Tough Jock Pose), but dammit, it's not remotely my best pic. And they even allow you to approve of the pic...and I said "sure, that's fine"...i'm not THAT vain that i'd keep doing reshoots, further holding up others behind me. But fuck, I really looked good today...and yet the pic doesn't fucking reflect that. Motherfucker. I consoled myself in the parking lot by recalling I REALLY wanna move soon, which would merit another DMV trip and another try at looking my HOTTEST in my license photo. And...only me...the fucking pic machine fucked up on my turn -- so I had to do the whole pic process twice! And the FIRST pic was, of course, better than the one I'm stuck with. I'm also vaguely worried about the first license printed out...sure, she punched a hole in it...but was that gonna be destroyed in a shredder or just tossed in the trash? I was gonna ask till she punched the hole through it, at which point I said "eh, good enough" and walked out. I'm also pissed the final product didn't reflect my initial request to up me to 5'11''...again, only after Asian Broad asked if 5'10" was accurate. I found an old college doctor's report recently that DID put me at the higher end, so why the fuck have I been downsizing my manhood for years?!?! The whole thing took about 50 minutes...amazing. McGreevey DID affect sweeping change!! Come back, Jim! It wasn't remotely the hours-long hell of yesteryear...unless I just went at a good time? So that's my big DMV story. Wait, one more thought...why are there ALWAYS the trashiest looking people there when I go? ALL of society needs licenses...yet i'm always stuck looking at ROSEANNE extras...from her "working in the factory with George Clooney" period. Yes, I'm critical. SO happy to have gotten this done today...one more thing off my clogged mind. And then I did more grueling yardwork. And now i'm almost ready for bed, weary but ecstatic from my productive day.