Panic...RESUME..reformatting...shoot me!

My ENTIRE day has been about reformatting my resume "to be read in an email"....in addition to the attachment method. The experience has reconfirmed why -- forget hating a dull office JOB -- but why I detest everything about even doing and sending out resumes. 90% of people reading this will likely, again, ask who the fuck I think I am...well, I think I'm someone who thinks resumes are bullshit. My OBJECTIVE? To fucking work. In a place devoid of jackass fucks. Can I put that? Actually, I have never even put an objective...I think THAT is the biggest crock of shit of all...some super vague statement about wanting to obtain a position in blah, blah, fucking blah. I yearn for the day I never have to make a resume again. I just want people to KNOW my work -- in a creative field, of course -- and hire me based on it. It's beyond aggravating just making a resume up...but then it totally fucks up when you copy and paste from one format to the other! Oh, my fucking God. I canNOT believe how much time I've spent today on this. And the PANIC I spoke of? That was me in bed at the crack of dawn...consumed with stress, tossing and turning, feeling on the verge of a heart attack. Lovely way to start the day. You know what, though? It WAS an incredibly productive day getting this resume shit updated and reformatted and saved multiple places. So i'm happy. I also had to deal with the landlord coming up with the carbon monoxide detector...which, naturally, didn't work...resulting in both of us on our knees on the floor, breathing labored, staring at the thing for 15 minutes as it periodically beeped. Can you say awkward sexual tension? Finally, he decided to read the instructions...but more so, that I should come downstairs and read them. And so I soon determined that it merely needed a battery inserted for backup...presto. I hope I won brownie points with the old man. I also finally got to tour the bedrooms downstairs...very intriguing set-up. All of this completely wasted a half-hour of my fucking time. Goodbye, time. Nice to have known you. So, yeah, while ultimately productive, it's been an annoying day. I wish I was in some desert town in Arizona, under a palm tree, watching the stars, and sipping a beer. I've really fucking had it.