"Gary, this WAS your life!"

A surreal, yet rejuvenating day. Took part in a "study" for $$ in the Financial District...which is where I used to work for more than 4 years. HAHA...putting STUDY in quotes kinda implies something perverse...it wasn't. Strictly legit. Odd, but legit. Honest. Though some firm downtown now has my fingerprints saved on their hard drive. But I digress; the study was so little of my day. Immediately after, I walked around the area...over to Peck Slip, which I'd never fully explored...but, most importantly, past where I used to work and soooooooo many places I'd eat and drink and shop in some years ago. I've been back before, but not in a long while, and I don't think ever during a work day, AND I lingered today like never before. I NEVER realized that the bar we spent so many nights in was in the basement of the landmark New York Cocoa Exchange. A lot of things are JUST the same, while others (like the Cocoa Exchange bar) exist only in memory. Funny to see security turnstiles in my building, whereas in my time there, we'd just waltz right to the elevator. Doing quick math, you'll figure out that I worked there PRE-9/11. It's very odd feeling nostalgic for a time and place you have no desire to go back to. I hated that job, a lot of the people annoyed the fuck out of me (see a theme?), and I am so NOT Finance Guy. I kinda wish I could be...I'd like the money, the "oh, isn't HE a bright go-getter!" respect, and even the dressing sharp part -- the Catholic school holdover in me, along with my inner-American Psycho. Just not me, though. There were days I'd play the role and look the part pretty well. But it meant nothing, and I'd still just be staring at the clock from the second I walked in. There's a handful of people I still keep in touch with from that job, and i'm grateful for knowing them. Thus, i'm grateful for the job itself, as dead-end as it was. I learned some things, experienced an environment, met some people...that I never imagined I would. In Oprah-speak, it's part of the tapestry of my life. I actually "climbed the ladder" and played the game pretty well there. I got a raise pretty fast, my boss loved me, and I got away with murder. Now that I think of it, people probably hated ME. Not my fault that I'm generally savvier, more manipulative, and far less invested in -- to steal from Lisa Simpson -- "pointless busywork" than most around me. MUAHAHAHAHA!! Good!! Let's just say my experience there was about as close to OFFICE SPACE as possible. Whew, I'm really pondering this ancient job! It was a big chunk of time, though...and THAT'S why today was so interesting. I was pondering an ERA...no matter how little the job meant to me. And I was walking around lower Manhattan on a gorgeous, if chilly, May day...after DAYS of being incredibly stressed. It just all did the soul good.