"Yeah, Ma, I'll be there around 3."

So went yet another seizure-inducing one-sided phonecall I had to endure. Well, Dipshit, it's 3:23pm...so why haven't you even LEFT yet on your hour-long ride back to mommy and daddy and small town NJ? I yearned to come home from ShopRite at 2:15pm to an empty apartment. Alas, I was reduced to exclaiming ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! upon seeing his car still here. There is zero filter left when it comes to my in-public bursts of profanity. I wonder what the neighbors will start to think. And he's being EXTRA irritatingly chatty today, asking me if "it's windy out" and where I'll be "watching the game." Fuckknob, hop in your hooptie and get the fuck out of my sight!