Observed at the mall -- hoods...UP

I'm all for hoodies...love them...currently looking to acquire MULTIPLE new ones. But at the mall today, I took note of the fact that many of "the kids" had their hoods UP, bundling up their heads as if they were on an Arctic expedition. So fucking agitating. And don't tell me it's "the thing" or i'm "too old to get it." Guess what...some "things" are just FUCKING STUPID. Wannabe thugs or something. Yes, there were many things that robbed me of the holiday spirit at the mall...though I managed to ultimately enjoy myself. It's an old rant...but, please, WHY must people move so slowly? And equally offensive is that they have NO clue that there's people behind them (me) on the verge of strokes from the aggravation of trying to navigate around them. You'd think it was Disney World, the way they hobble along. I again used massive, seisure-like eyerolling to indicate my annoyance to others not culpable in the slow-moving crime; I've gotta vent SOMEhow. I will NEVER, EVER get slow people. Then...THEN...oh, my FUCKING GOD, THEN...there's the drivers on cell phones. Honestly, there is SUCH a razor-thin line between me keeping my cool and slamming their cars over an embankment. I lost count of the fucks who were either moving ungodly slowly in the FAST lane and/or weaving precariously in-between lanes...and when I'd finally get past them, I'd see a cell phone to their ear. SERIOUSLY...I am NOT kidding you...you are RISKING your life on SO many levels by doing this. And by that I mean not only may YOU cause an accident, but someone is VERY likely to flip out, maybe ME, and FUCKING HURT you. Badly. I am ENTIRELY justified in my rage over this. Things like this make me want to enter politics, as I would instantly seek to enact legislation to SUSPEND your fucking license for a month if caught driving on a cellphone...or, more to the point, driving erratically or too slowly. Oh, dare to dream, Gary!
YOU.
ARE.
A.
FUCKING.
DIPSHIT.
AND.
A.
HALF.
IF.
YOU.
ARE.
ON.
THE.
PHONE.
WHILE.
SPEEDING.
DOWN.
THE.
HIGHWAY.
You are NOT that important. You're just STUPID. And now that i've probably called most people I know fucking idiots...HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!