"In lieu of flowers or gifts, the family requests that you give your children an extra hug today."
That's how an obituary in the paper for a 16-year-old suicide victim read today. Certainly one of the more heartbreaking things I've ever read.
I keep saying I'm gonna stop reading the obituaries -- and it's not something I ABSOLUTELY do every day of my life -- but if a paper's in my hand, I'm always compelled to seek them out. And for what? I'm not sure. I always think, "well, reading them inspires me to live to the fullest!" Eh. They certainly give perspective, but more often than not, they also leave me in a funk for hours or days. Especially ones like today's. A very violent suicide, too disturbing to even write about. Not some "simple" drug overdose or anything. And this kid...this kid had EVERYTHING going for him; it just makes absolutely no sense.
And so I've spent TOO much time today on Facebook and Google, trying to ascertain exactly what happened, and exactly the type of kid this was -- things NEVER possible in the pre-internet days. It's macabre, spooky, bizarre...intrusive? IS it intrusive? I think it's bizarre before it's intrusive. Bizarre that it's POSSIBLE, not that I'm doing it -- though many would surely differ. It's a WHOLE new world with the internet...including death. As ghoulish as reading family and friends' Facebook thoughts on their loved one's death may seem -- though it's right there FOR everyone to read -- the internet also allows total strangers -- like me -- to offer (hopefully) comforting words and organize memorials. I think the good outweighs the bad. I have no real answers; I'm just trying to "figure it all out" myself.
But the main point of this posting -- which I wish didn't have to exist tonight -- should be what the family of this poor kid wished for in lieu of flowers or gifts. Because we always take things -- PEOPLE -- for granted, never thinking that in an instant, our entire lives will be forever shattered.
I keep saying I'm gonna stop reading the obituaries -- and it's not something I ABSOLUTELY do every day of my life -- but if a paper's in my hand, I'm always compelled to seek them out. And for what? I'm not sure. I always think, "well, reading them inspires me to live to the fullest!" Eh. They certainly give perspective, but more often than not, they also leave me in a funk for hours or days. Especially ones like today's. A very violent suicide, too disturbing to even write about. Not some "simple" drug overdose or anything. And this kid...this kid had EVERYTHING going for him; it just makes absolutely no sense.
And so I've spent TOO much time today on Facebook and Google, trying to ascertain exactly what happened, and exactly the type of kid this was -- things NEVER possible in the pre-internet days. It's macabre, spooky, bizarre...intrusive? IS it intrusive? I think it's bizarre before it's intrusive. Bizarre that it's POSSIBLE, not that I'm doing it -- though many would surely differ. It's a WHOLE new world with the internet...including death. As ghoulish as reading family and friends' Facebook thoughts on their loved one's death may seem -- though it's right there FOR everyone to read -- the internet also allows total strangers -- like me -- to offer (hopefully) comforting words and organize memorials. I think the good outweighs the bad. I have no real answers; I'm just trying to "figure it all out" myself.
But the main point of this posting -- which I wish didn't have to exist tonight -- should be what the family of this poor kid wished for in lieu of flowers or gifts. Because we always take things -- PEOPLE -- for granted, never thinking that in an instant, our entire lives will be forever shattered.
posted by Gregoire at 11:11 PM
2 Comments:
I understand completely what you're talking about...I too am ADD, of course (like most half of the world)I have some obsessive compulsive (probably too obsessive.
Being a mother myself I feel I understand all too well the second it takes to end a life, but also the nine months to make it. I appreciate your post :)
LP
And I appreciate your reading it AND your comment. Thank you. :)
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