VERIZON customer service...THE WORST ON EARTH!!

They've infuriated me before, but today took the cake. I could NOT reach a motherfucking human being. I reapplied for Caller ID online on SATURDAY. It's Thursday...still didn't have it. Ring, ring. "Welcome to Verizon...for English, press one." And so began my nightmare. I pressed every button imaginable...kept being told "we'll connect you to an operator now." OK, great. Only to hear "for English, press one" again. And again. And again. AND AGAIN. Then "Welcome to Verizon!" Hung up. I'm already red-faced with rage, with 10 minutes of my life wasted. Tried another number -- they have literally like 10 different numbers to call on their bill, for seemingly every issue BUT "if you're seething and want to throw your phone against the wall." SAME shit with the second number. I was now SCREAMING into the phone, using the word FUCK, when the recorded bitch asked me what my problem was. This outburst oddly (?) seemed to work, and I was FINALLY connected to a human. Alas, SHE couldn't help me...determined after further wasting my voice with my personal info. Call ANOTHER number...the "E-service dept" or something, since my issue originated online. I'm on the verge of a stroke, but call. Get someone...talk to them...seems my account was BLOCKED due to a late payment NINE MONTHS AGO...which I kinda knew, but figured, you know, once it was PAID and my account balance was ZERO, the technology of 2007 would UNblock it. Um, no. I had to CALL to unblock it...which I was THEN doing. And so my Caller ID order was cancelled due to the blocking. AND I NEVER FUCKING GOT ANY CORRESPONDENCE ABOUT AN OFFICIAL "BLOCK" AND THAT I'D HAVE TO CALL TO UNDO IT!!!?!?!?!!?!!?! The woman was borderline condescending, acting like I'm a fool for not knowing to call to unblock it. Somehow I resisted calling her a CUNTY FUCKING CUM-SLURPER...even after I was told she'd connect me to someone ELSE to re-place the order after she'd just unblocked me. At this time, my fantasy of planting explosives in a local Verizon office is escalating, but I'm soon speaking to a man now, who asks how he can "PROVIDE THE BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE AVAILABLE." Sapped of strength, I give my name, acct. #, and special 3-digit security code for seemingly a 27th time, and explain I want Caller ID. "Sir, you're blocked...you're gonna need to call..." I cut him off, explain that I was just UNblocked and told to call him. He stammers, tells me to wait a minute...awkward silence...okaaaaaaaaay..."Ok, sir, the block was JUST taken off your account...so you want Caller ID?" "YES...JUST Caller ID...the $7.50 Caller ID only thing, nothing else." "Ok, sir, that'll be working within 10 minutes...is there anything else Verizon can help you with today?" "No, that's IT...THANK you...have a good day." Almost on the verge of tears, I hang up the phone and tend to my soggy granola yogart. Motherfuckers even ruined my lunch. I think it might have been faster and more efficient to send a smoke signal from my roof.