EXASPERATED in my search for an even-writing, non-blotchy MOTHERFUCKING PEN!!!

Yes, I am RAGING against writing utensils now! I am someone who keeps diaries, who keeps exceedingly detailed daily planners, who captions photo albums. I am ALWAYS writing...and I am WEARY of spending extra time writing because the fucking pen fades in and out or, worse, occasionally spills too much ink out, causing a big ass ink blotch. I bought a package of four Bic Atlantis pens at Kmart like 2 weeks ago, courtesy of my birthday gift card. The package promised "smoother" writing. Fuck that! They're WORSE than other pens I have. I am IRATE! WHY is this such a problem?!?!?! WHY?!?! Why does even finding a nice-writing PEN on this earth have to be such a goddamn, motherfucking chore?!?! A PEN! I am enraged over a PEN!! I want to write ONCE...and have the output be smooth, even, and non-ink-splattered. Can anyone recommend a good pen? Or is this yet more evidence that I'm an increasingly crazy eccentric who desperately needs to be medicated?