Would I like to proceed in ENGLISH?!?!?!?

OK, I know this is not a rant unique to me, but it's one that canNOT be expressed often or loudly enough. I'm referring to when you call any 800-number and they ask you right off the bat if you wanna proceed in English. Um, YES...I'M AN ENGLISH-SPEAKING, LEGAL AMERICAN!!! I'm calling from NJ, not FUCKING GUATEMALA!! Jesus fucking Christ, I can't express the extent of my rage upon hearing this. I wanna hurl the phone with all my might into the nearest piece of glass. Then I wanna go down to FUCKING PSE&G headquarters (the catalyst for this blog's rage...I repeat, PSE&FUCKINGG) and shove my social security card down someone's fucking throat, knock them to the floor, then plant an American flag deep into their fucking ass. I'll make sure to bring a fan, too, so I can turn it on and watch Old Glory flail majestically out of their twitching, bloodied anus. THERE...does THAT express how much this PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF?! QUIT catering to the foreigners and illegals! When I call a utility, I EXPECT it to be in MOTHERFUCKING ENGLISH, with NO extra work involved in what's already an exasperating, 27-step process to get my balance!!